My Mom keeps saying once she sees her great grandchildren that she is going to die. Does she really know?

My 86 yr old husband has been asking God to take him for ten months now, & still he is here with heart problems, severe sleep apnea, and both osteo & rheumatoid arthritis, spinal and past cervical fractures. He has always been a real fighter, so he's not the type to give in to anything. I have been a nurse for over 42 years, & the only conclusion I can draw here is that it is up to the Almighty.In the Bible it says there's a time to be born and a time to die. Some people have warnings of death,(feelings of slowing/greater lack of oxygen, etc), but I do not believe anyone knows the exact time. My late grandmother knew that she would be gone by the time the leaves would fall , She had uterine cancer.

My mother in law recently passed away of CHF and I remember conversations we had shortly before her death, specifically about how wonderful to know that when she took her last breath here on earth, her next one would be in paradise. The morning before she passed I was sitting next to her and she asked me if I heard the music. I asked her to describe what it sounded like and she said it was so beautiful that she couldn't describe it having never heard anything like it. I asked her if she felt the angels wings and she said "No because they were standing all around us!" I will always remember that conversation and when she passed her last breath ended on an exhale.

My mom has been asking Jesus to take her for about 30 of her 78 years. She wouldn't do anything any doctor ever told her to for her health or to rehab her back or shoulder after surgery. She neglected her diabetes and high blood pressure. She was always high-stress and anxious over nothing.

Before her dementia got as bad as it is now, she told me that she had no idea she'd really live this long. She always thought she was on death's door and lived that way. She missed out on fun, friends, good times, enjoying what the world has to offer, and even creating any kind of bonds with me or other family.

Now it's too late and it would probably be a real mercy for her to pass, but she's still strong as an ox somehow. Jesus hasn't come yet today either.

I personally think that some people need to be mentally ready and at peace before they die. My uncle said for about a year he was ready. He really had no serious medical issues do I would tell him God is not ready for you yet but when the time comes I will let you know. About 2 years later after a few months in hospuce, he fell out of bed in a skilled nursing facility with 2 people in the room. NH called and said things were not looking good. In a matter of hours, the nurse told me she felt that it would be just a few more days. My sister left the room for a few minutes and I just continued to softly talk to him and just (perhaps thoughtlessly) added that i thought God might be ready for him soon and 5 mins later he passed. My grandmother was in hospice at home, dad had a heart attack, paramedics rush to the hospital bed (wrong room) and dad is admitted. Next day we find out dad needs a stent. Grandmom is holding her own. That night hubby takes mom and kids to hospital to visit dad and grandmom dies while they are gone for an hour. I truly believe that my grandma wanted us to put all of our time and energy towards her son and not herself. Do I believe someone can pinpoint their exact day and time of death, no, but I do believe will there is a will, there is a way.

Your mother doesn't know when or how she will die, as do none of us.

My grandmother-in-law said she couldn't die until I divorced her grandson. Well that didn't quite work out. She has since passed and we're still married. She had all her bearings also, just very old.

When her time comes, it comes, great grandchildren or not. Good luck!

Judyjourneys,
We each handle death in our own way. This was right for me....
Thank you for responding so kindly.

Doodlebug, that was beautiful. I wish I had had the courage to stay with my mother her last night on earth. But I could not bear to think of her as dead. At that time I thought it best that I think of her as gone--if that makes sense.

My personal experience with my Mom is that she knew......a week before she passed on to her glory she told me she would be leaving on Thursday. Thursday's had signigance for her in that for over 40 years she had bowled on Thursday mornings and bought groceries and ran errands afterward.
She had gone into a "semicoma" like state staring on Monday. She was asleep a lot, ate very little,was aware but did not speak anymore. Wednesday night I laid down for a short nap and got up at midnight to sit by her bedside. At 5:19 Thursday morning she lifted up her hand towards Heaven, breathed a sigh, ever so gentle lowered her hand to her chest and went home.... I thank God that He allowed me to be there with her. It was a beautiful honor for me. I bathed her, changed her into her prettiest PJs, combed her hair one last time and called hospice to report her passing.

I took my mom to social events when I left my Maryland home to live with her in Massachusetts for the last part of her life. But she would end up in tears and point to vacant chairs. I asked why she was crying. Her response="they're all gone." Thus the vacant chairs. Plus she would tell me "it won't be long now." Not what a daughter wants to hear, but she did predict her own demise.

I can only speak for what I have seen for myself. I cared for my dying aunt for a month or two. About 1-2 weeks before she died she would talk to her mom and dad. when I would ask who she was talking to she would point in the air and say my mom right there. Don't you see her...she is wearing...She would describe them in detail down to their cloths, hair style and what they were doing. They they would leave and she would be calm and go to sleep. As her death got closer she saw them more frequently and even saw other deceased relatives. She would say they are waiting for me so I need to go. One morning as I was laying in the bed in the room across from her's, I thought she was talking in her sleep to who knows, but then she just let out a gasp noise and was gone. Very peacefully. I firmly believe our loved ones who have passed wait for us, help us accept death and greet us on the other side.

She absolutely could be right on point.

My aunt recently passed on. Her kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids were in the room for hours on that 'final' day. They all wanted to be there with her when she crossed over. From what I understand...It was a bit after lunch hour and they were all hungry so they left to go eat at a local restaurant and then return.My aunt decided to hold on for approximately half an hour after they left. By that time they'd had ordered lunch and were eating when the nurse called my cousin to inform her. Sometimes elders just do not want all the family present when they pass.

17 years ago my father passed away while having a massive heart attack (age 79). His back story is as follows: He sat in my living room and stated, 'I don't know what I'm still doing here. I'm ready to go home. I wish God would hurry up.' (or something on that line--after so many years the actual statement's a blur). My reply was instant, 'You got a good 6 months left in you.' We just looked at each other, stunned, but he nodded and said, 'I'm ready'. We left it at that. 6 months later he passed away but not without a fight in the ER. At one point he'd been stabilized and they let us go see him 1 at a time. Mom stayed with him a long time. She then came out and my cousin went to his side for 5 minutes and came out. Then he went into another round of attacks. The ER Team stabilized him again...mom went in a shorter time but then had to go to bathroom. I went in and was speaking to him..reminded him of our conversation 6 months prior, told him where my babies were(home in bed/sitter at house), and told him mom was out of the ER at the bathrooms and that we would be OK if he were to 'fly into the light'. Seconds later...he gurgled and the monitors blared again and the team came in for round 3. Mom wasn't even back from the bathroom yet and the team could not revive him. I believe that I had informed him of what he wanted to know...who was there, where they were, give him permission so that he could let go. He was gone before mom returned from the bathroom.

My mother is now 91, doesn't have dementia. She is terrified of the 'way' she will die, more so than dying. So she says. She's admitted to not being 'ready' yet. She is also the type of person that is super private and hold a lot of thoughts inward. When I even bring up the topic of 'being ready' or dying...she hushes me so much cause she is refusing to discuss it. Discussing it once with me was too much for her to handle. I suspect she has an innate feeling of knowing the exact 'way' she will go and it's terrifying her because she doesn't want that burden upon us kids; specifically me since I now live with her.

Bottom line is some do know, some state they are ready even though they are not near their 'time'. Others, are afraid to talk about it, admit things, and fear it so bad it emotionally torture's them into silence about it. Hugs.

My mom has always said that she would stick around to see my youngest daughter have children. Well my youngest, who is now 34, just had a child 4 months ago and my mom is 91 with dementia and some other issues. Last year she lost my dad and said she wanted the Lord to take her but she would wait for my daughter to have a baby first. Well baby is here and do is she. I don't hear her talk about dying as much. I do believe if someone really wants to die they can will it upon themselves.

After a long hospital visit, my mother looked at a tree that was dropping its leaves in the autumn. From her bed, she said, "See that last leaf. When it falls, I will die." She lived for years after that.

After my husband died, I belonged to a Grief Network. It was SUCH a big help. I read a lot of books. Repeatedly, people would choose the people they wanted with them, when they passed. I have lost 2 husbands to cancer. My second, had his son, myself and my two daughters in the room. He waited until the two girls were gone to the cafateria and my son and I were in the room and he passed. My third husband, had the pastor and his wife, myself and hospice and he waited until his son called and died within about 10 minutes. It sounds like they do choose....But not necessarily because they do not like those who are absent. He loved his daughters, but , for whatever reason, he did not want to give them the memory.

My Great GMA was a 3 hour drive from the city where my Sis and I both used to live. We could do a quick trip up and back to see her in the same day, and we often did. The last time we saw her she asked if we'd be back for an upcoming party for a family member in two weeks. We said probably, but not sure yet.

One week before the event G GMA was hospitalized with pneumonia. No one called Sis or me, so we didn't know a thing!!! (Our family always "protects" the younger ones as far as bad news, waits to the last minute to tell them.) So when that week end came, both Sis and I decided since we'd just been there we'd wait, go again in a few weeks. We usually went every 4 to 6 weeks.

GMA slipped away that Sunday night, right about the time there would have been no hope that we were going to show up. At the funeral one of her caregivers said she couldn't believe GMA lasted more than a few days like that, yet alone the 6 or 7 days. Said it was almost like she was "waiting for something". For what ever it's worth, I do think she waited, and I do think she chose when to let go.

My mom wanted to live to her ninetieth birthday, she took a turn for the worse the following day and died two days later. At the time, Hospice workers told me it was very common. However, I wouldn't plan on it in your case. once she looks into the eyes of her beautiful great grandchildren, she'll probably want too hang around forever!

Often people wait for a certain event and then pass peacefully. I can't say Whether she really knows or not but she is convinced and only time will tell.
Honor her beliefs and ask her any questions you need answered about funeral etc. it may upset you but she will take it in stride because she has been thinking about it already