A family member refused to help with fhis elderly Mom in time of need. What can be done?

I am thr care giver for my Mom and Ihave to go away for three weeks. I'm trying to find a place to leave her until I get back and have had no luck so far.

If I understand the situation correctly, your BIL is in fact helping your MIL by running her business, but declines to do grocery shopping, etc. Depending on the nature of the business, I would think that's a full time commitment in and of itself, and equally as important for her financial stability.

It would be hard for your wife to step in and help with the grocery shopping, What about hiring it done, perhaps a friend who could use the money and is comfortable helping out someone apparently in need?

Personally, I would never try to force anybody, especially a family member to provide hands on caregiving. That would be a recipe for disaster for MIL or BIL and possible the entire family. Some people have it in them to provide hands on care but most cannot. So,find appropriate care forMIL and it is not BIL, you or any other family member from the sounds of it.

vincem, looks like your brother-in-law [wife's brother?] is caught between a rock and a hard place. Does he abandon the family business [his mother's business] and it falls apart, or does he keep the business afloat and ask others to help out.

You mentioned the Mom's sister-in-law is staying with her at the moment... is that the brother-in-law in question's wife?

Please provide more information regarding the health issues of the Mom, to help us get a better picture of what is going on.

Tell us a bit about the MIL. Is she open to going to an assisted living facility? What stage of Alzheimer's is she in? I was thinking that going to a facility might be more enjoyable to her, since she'll be around other people her own age. It would also cost less than 24-hour home care.

I think your question is the BIL is not looking out for his mom who needs care , and, can he somehow be forced to do his duty? I'm going to assume the writer of the original post does not want the responsibility dumped on him/her.

BIL is busy running somebody's business and either can't or won't deal with mom. It would be hard, if not impossible, to legally force him to see to moms care, you can check with a local elder care attorney. If she needs care and no one steps up, notify the authorities and the proper agency in your area will step in.
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So it's also your MIL's business that your BIL is running? This is his mother? Perhaps he feels he's doing his bit by minding the business for her, though presumably it's for a salary. That might raise an eyebrow or two, but I wouldn't say he's necessarily wrong to draw the line at hands-on caregiving or running errands. Does he give reasons?

What has happened to put your MIL suddenly in need of 24/7 care?

this is my mother in-law. No one is living with her at the moment the situation is a week old. Her Sister in law is staying with her, THIS week only. We are in the process of arranging 24 hr. in home care. BIL can come ad go has he wants he's not tied to a desk it's not type of business, he just refusing to help period. .

Vince, so…

Your BIL runs his mother's business, which equates to his full-time job. Your wife works full-time, too; and you are retired and incapacitated. Is that about it?

So whose mother is it who needs the help? And who, if any of you, is living with her?

refusing to supply groceries, will not shop for food or bring dinner. He can't loose his job, he runs a business for his mother, this is my brother in-law .My wife and I are left holding the bag if will. I am retired and unable to work, on S.S my wife works sometimes 50 hrs. a week I know this a family problem but it would be nice for a help once in a while

Would need more info to advise.