Sis changed Will and is brain washing Mom. Anything we can do?

I forgot to mention, be ready to not speak to your sister again since she will feel she was right and entitled to do what she did.She will most likely look at you as a rival and someone who took something away from her.I no longer associate with my sister and really,do you really want someone like that in your life anyway? People who do wrong....as my mom always said....karma is a b@&@h ! It will bite the person in the butt down the road.Ive seen it happen to my sister already.Anyone who takes advantage of the elderly,especially their own parents,have a bigger person then anyone on this earth to answer to in the end.Good luck to you down the road....you will feel great when it is over knowing you did the right thing.

I had my sister and her husband do almost the same thing with my mom shortly after my dad passed.Fought tooth and nail with her to do the right thing for mom.In her eyes,what little money dad had left mom to live on was going to be used for her daughters college fund.The only thing that helped me was I contacted an attorney in elder law,took her to court to remove her from POA,and became conservator of mom and finally did the right things(what dad had wished for his wife on his deathbed) Just be mentally prepared and also want you to know,it was very costly but worth every penny in the end!

Your poor mother. Five children whom she wants to see inherit an equal share of the estate and all this going on. Poor lady.

You *could* take her to a lawyer, establish that she has capacity, get a new will drawn up, ask her to give you POA and so on and so forth; and then what will your sister do about that, do you suppose? Presumably what she has just done: come flying back in, take your mother to a lawyer, have herself appointed etc etc etc etc.

If your father's will is going through probate then sooner or later you will see what your mother is afraid to show you anyway; let's guess that you won't like it but it's too late and too bad.

The best you can aim for is to progress more constructively from here. Your mother is not a pinball - leave her out of it. Talk to your *sister*, and your other three siblings, and among the five of you sort out a plan that will respect your mother's wishes and provide for her welfare.

Your mother has dementia. What she tells you may not be 100% accurate. Badgering her about the will is not likely to be successful. Who is caring for Mom now? Even if she seems OK on her own right now, that will not last long. She will need increasing amounts and types of care.

Care for dementia is EXPENSIVE. Unless your parents had a very large estate it is very likely that your mom's care the rest of her life will eat up all of her assets, and there won't be anything left for anyone to inherit. Is the estate extensive? If not, it may not even last the rest of Mom's life. She may need to apply for Medicaid, as so many elders do.

See an Elder Law attorney and explain the situation. See if there are steps you can take to protect your mother from undue influence.

And then focus your attention on the actual caregiving that your mother is going to need. Learn about dementia. Learn about local resources. Prepare for the long haul here, because it can get to be a very long haul indeed.

Your sister, the POA, may be a greedy witch. You know her; I don't. But I know that it is very common for a person with early stage dementia to get a little (or lot) paranoid and worry about their possessions. So they hide them. And when they can't remember where (or even that they hid them) they think their paranoia is justified -- "See, I told you someone is stealing my stuff!" In this light I ask how you know your sister stole some jewelry? If you are going on what Mother told you, that could turn out to be quite wrong.

How often do you visit your mother (and not just talk on the phone)? Does one of your other sibs live closer or visit more often?

Since last page is missing you must have seen it. Are you certain it was signed and notarized?

Why didn't your mother have a "choice to say no to will change"?

But then you wrote:
"She really thinks will was not changed as they told her that. I'm sure it has."

Do you know for a fact that the will was altered or are you merely "sure it has" been?" Perhaps I'm missing something here?

And how do you know that your sister calls every night from California cautioning your mother against going any place with either or your sister?

If your mother isn't communicating these events, how are you learning about them? Also, why would you need a POA to observe how your mother's dementia is changing?

Where is your mother living? In the same area as you?

I'm just trying to understand the situation here.

Thank you so much for your answers and advice. I will call lawyer and any other related sources. I just hope something can be done without moms presence as there is no way she will go. With love, prodad89

I will call an elder law lawyer and give story. But again mom will have a fit if she knew and will tell bully sis what I have done. And again I will never get her to go redo will or even talk about it. She hung up on me yesterday cut she tells sis all I say and she is told if I bring it up hang up or go in bedroom if I'm at the house.

Taking mom to attorney is impossible. My sis calls her every night from california and has told mom not to go anywhere with me and other sister. If new will is filed in probate what can I do cut mom won't let me go with her to read. Also without being power of attorney we can't see how bad mom's dementia is getting. She refuses to let us even talk to her doc as sis has name her believe we r not doing it in her vest interest. How do I prove mom was bullied at time of all this when dad was dying. They sat at table day after day with her to get her to believe I was incompetent to be executor and that change had to be made. She really thinks will was not changed as they told her that. I'm sure it has.

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Mom didn't have a choice to say no to will change. Will box was found by sis and bro. They had it planned out to take me off as executor and add them. Don't know what changes were made but they had her sign new papers then filed it at probate. Not sure why dad didn't have to do something. ..maybe they caught him off guard as well. Mom now has start of dementia and will have nothing to do with will. Says it's ok, but we know it's wrong especially since last page missing. We can't even take her to talk to doctors as sis made herself power of attorney. All so wtong. Sis and bro made plan before taking action so me and other siblings were caught off guard. Afraid what will happen now that mom has dementia and dad is gone. Feel helpless.
Did

Prodad, only your Dad and Mom can make changes to their own Wills, and only with their own notarized signatures. Curious how your sister was able to have the Wills changed. And with your Dad being so ill [sorry for your loss] how was he able to change his Will.

I agree with Mincemeat above, take your mother to an attorney and have her draw up a new Will using whomever she wants as Executor, and to draw up a Power of Attorney for medical and for financial. Best to use an Elder Law attorney as they are most up to date with all the elder laws.

Elder Law attorneys are pretty sharp, they can tell if an elder is being brainwashed into making changes to a legal document. And they will help the elder make their own decisions, as long as the elder is still of clear mind.

Yes! Grab your mother and take her straight to the lawyer's office and make a new will with you as the executor and durable POA. Why is your mother so scared? Was she threatened.? Make sure the attorney is aware of this situation. Remember, the last will made is the real one unless they can prove that they were not of sound mind.