My Mother (84) has primary progressive aphasia and her son (67) just passed away, should I tell her?

I agree with Windy and Gardenartist, Only answer questions and then with calm veiled truths. Like the child who asks "Where do I come from?" and the parent tells the whole story of reproduction and the child answers"Tommy comes from Chicago."

Not familiar with that diagnosis, but if someone cannot communicate, how would we be able to know what that person understands?
CAN you tell us more, about your mother, your brother, and yourself? How are you handling the news?

Treat her like she is still alive. We cannot protect our loved ones, or anyone, from the pain of life, and if you are still living, the pain is part of life. If you are worried that she may become too upset, medicate her for the night just before telling her?
Ask her doctor if she can take this news. Be normal about it, get her some flowers, have some friends visit with hugs. Frame a newer picture of her son and display it. SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, was that your brother? Grieve for you and your mom if she is not able. Tell us about your brother. Bless you for being so careful about Mom's feelings.

My experience has been that if (a) the contact hasn't been regular and consistent and (b) if there's dementia and confusion present, I don't raise the issue. When I did, often without thinking of the ramifications, it only produced upset and tears.

How do you know she understands you? It takes time to know what she knows and what she doesn't.Was she close to her son? Will she understand that he has passed? How is her memory? You are lucky that she is older. My wife is only 67. She is a terror. When she gets angry get out of her way. I had her in a memory unit
of a n.h.. She never unpacked her bags after a month. I believe the aids were afraid of her.so I took her home. I now have an aid for her 5 days a week, 6 hrs. a day. The aid is absolutely wonderful however she is afraid of her. My wife is so angry and stubborn that she can be a terror. One terrible, terrible, aspect of her disease is that she follows me wherever I go. She is my shadow and it drives me crazy, but even worse is the fact that she won't let me touch her. I have not even held her hand for ten years-this is so sad. Anyway this aid is great and I take it one day at a time.

This is a tough issue that's been discussed previously. I think each case is different. I've always worried about repeating the grief cycle over and over as dementia destroys short term memory. Use your gut feeling here. I tend to go with the avoid and distract method if the dementia is advanced very much.

I know if my Mom died I'd have to go through the whole thing every 10 minutes with my Dad. When it happens I'll be playing by ear and take the easiest route for Dad and me.

Sorry hit the button by mistake.
You could tell her that she will see him soon. This is a hard one and I wish you the best.

Only you can truly answer this question because you know your mom the best. Did your mom see her son on a regular basis, if so I might tell her. If he really hasn't been a part of her present life, I may just let it go. If you feel you should tell her then tell her but perhaps