What can I do?

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T

Troywoz1 Asked July 2015

What can I do?

My mom passed just over a year ago. Since then my father has turned to alcohol and possibly drugs to mask his depression. Also been hanging with women 30-40 years younger who are addicts themselves. He has been taken advantage of to the extent of almost all his savings that he's worked so hard for 40 years to accumulate plus the insurance money left to him by my mom when she passed on these younger women. I've expressed my concerns but he will not admit he needs help. I know he's filling a void with the women and the alcohol and he's so depressed he can't see he's being taken advantage of. I don't know what to do.

Depression

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score 1 · Answer 2

You can get the help and try an intervention with Dad to get him into rehab and care for his depression. He probably has a right to refuse and if he does, there may not be anything you can do but to save yourself and pick up pieces if there are any to pick up when it finally falls apart.

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66 is old enuff to know better, and old enuff to have the right to make his own choices.Don't see him, move out, just get yourself free. Alanon is good.

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I realize it may sound trite but you must speak to addiction professionals regarding your father. My father used alcohol to avoid his issues and to say it was ruinous is a gigantic understatement. By the time he finally ended up in an ER it was way, way too late to do anything to help him. And even if they can't help HIM it could help YOU. Please don't hesitate.

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score 3 · Answer 5

This is a sad story. Addiction is such a difficult issue. Sometimes people have to hit bottom before they'll admit they need help. Geewhiz is right about al anon. It should be easy to find a group near you. What worries me is the possibility of Dad losing everything then turning to you for support. Maybe it's time to get on the tough love road and let him know you will not be there to pick him up when this is all over.

I have gone through similar situations with my brother and sister. They both eventually died from their addictions but not before destroying their lives and causing great suffering to my family. After years of trying to help I finally had to back away from them.

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score 5 · Answer 6

One idea for you is to attend al-anon meetings. This is for friends and family of problem drinkers. You can find meeting times by checking out their site.

(Does your Dad still visit with you or allow you to visit him? Is he sober at those times? )

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