How do I know if the time is right for Hospice, if the doctor is saying nothing about it?

Call the Doctor and ask for an evaluation from Hospice. Perhaps the Doctor is not comfortable bringing up the topic. When my Mom was in A.L. I asked the AL nurse to request a hospice evaluation from the doctor that served the facility. The nurse (who I did not have a good relationship with) said it was too early but I insisted and said hospice could accept or decline my Mom. The evaluation was done and my Mom was accepted by the hospice group I chose. (We had many options here.) My Mom benefited from many services provided by this hospice group. 2 hours of aide service 5 days a week, weekly visits from a nurse to evaluate her, visits from spiritual representatives and 22 days in their in patient facility over 2 stays due to infections that could not be handled at the AL. She benefited from all of this for 6 months and one day. I urge you to call the MD and ask for an evaluation . Ifyou have more than one hospice organization, call each of them to see what they offer. Not every hospice group offers the same services.

Oregongirl, you and your partner are in my thoughts and prayers today. NEVER BE AFRAID TO BRING UP HOSPICE! if the doctor says no, you can always have the hospice organization of your choice do an evaluation. Some doctors are philosophically opposed to "giving up" as they see it, so keep your options open. Best, Barbara

Woodridge...I know a lot of people do not understand Hospice and think they are up to no good. I have heard all the stories. My friend was the Director of Hospice and I was shocked that people refused it. I am SO certain he is ready for Hospice. I know he would agree. He would rest easy knowing that everything is in place and he is being taken care of and he is so ready to go. I know he is SO tired of the pain. The doctors will not increase his pain med as he had a bad rash and no doctor wants to take the responsibility of adding a med and being responsible for the rash returning. It is SO unfair for him. We live in Oregon which has the choice of going when you want to. Neither of us agree with that. But, each day I see him suffer, I pray to God that God will not allow him to suffer much longer. I know Our Lord suffered terrible. But, I cannot watch his pain any longer. He cries out in pain and it makes me cry. I hope everyone understands that. He is sound of mind...to a point. He goes off on tangents of THINGS....Like saying things that do not make sense. Yes, he has had his urine tested for infection....... NONE. He has hallucinations and talks to the wall sometimes. But, the pain he suffers is very familiar to many on here. You do not wish to have anyone go through that much longer. It is not fair to us to loose them, but not fair to them to suffer for our sake. We see the doctor tomorrow and "the Talk" is due. Keep him in your prayers...After-all this is a very important decision. But, as you said, he could come off. He will be 89 and I doubt he would come off Hospice.

If his doc has determined that he has 6 months or less and further medical treatments and procedures would not be effective the doc can order hospice.

Ask his doctor and talk to your partner about it if he's of sound mind. It's a tough call to make, but it's not a death sentence. Sometimes patients improve while in hospice care and are removed for long periods and then retuned as things worsen.