Our elderly neighbor lady and her son are barely able to continue living independently. How do we find out what options there are?

I do not think he has a mental disorder. He has just been so babied and overprotected his whole life that he never developed the emotional where-with-all to deal with life.

Thanks for everyone's comments.

I second what everyone else has written, but there's one aspect that concerns me. You wrote that the son is "emotionally childlike and does not take responsibility for himself." Does he actually have a mental disorder, or is he just irresponsible and immature?

If the former, he might be eligible for SSI. If he's just not motivated, that's a different story. My intent is not to be critical, but to discern whether or not he could be participating more and helping his mother.

I do think Maggie's suggestion is wise; you have a legitimate human concern but no legal rights and from your brief description, this sounds like a situation in which some professional involvement is going to be necessary. You could seem like a savior and become enmeshed in this family's situation.

Call your area's Adult Protective Services and tell them both of your concern and your possible interest in helping in some small way.

You have zero standing. Best to let professionals guide the way.

Midwest, contact your county agency on aging for programs such as Case Management, Meals on Wheels, Adult Day Care, housing, care referrals, etc,... go to the website link below.... click on your State.... now click on the city/county. https://www.agingcare.com/local/Area-Agency-on-Aging

With gathering all the info that you can, you can present it to your neighbor and see what she is open to doing. There will come a time where if your neighbor still lives in a house, to start downsizing and moving into something more manageable.

I live in St. Louis and there is a number we can call to get access to community resources. Here the number is 211. We just punch that into the phone and someone answers. I'd be willing to bet you have such a number where you live. You can also try the Dept. of Aging (or Division of Aging or whatever it might be called). Or if you Googled something like "elderly resources" and then your zip code you'll get some information as well.

You wrote that you are "happy to help to some degree". Be careful that you don't become enmeshed in your neighbor's lives too deeply. It's wonderful that you are going to try and assist them, it sounds like they need help, but try to set boundaries. It's very easy to go from being helpful and neighborly to suddenly finding yourself responsible for them.