I want to leave my husband who been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease vascular and dementia. Anyone else experience this behavior?

Theadvisor, I think your comment was so sweet and endearing, and so touchinh! My heart goes out to you in your fight against your Parkinson's disease. It sounds like you and your wife have discussed this plan, but do make sure it is what she would want also! In sickness and in health and Til death do us part, means different things to different people. But I do understand your selflessness!

I would consult with an Elder Law attorney. In some states you are legally responsible for the necessary expenses of your spouse. Threy are ways to tend to this, but you need to sort it out legally. While there, find out what you are entitled to and what your rights and responsibilities are.

Place him in a good nursing home facility first before you leave. Pretend you are taking him to visit someone if he puts up a fight. Don't tell him until you get to your destination. Then the rest is in your ball park. The disease will only worsen so it is best to do your planning early. Good luck and God bless.

Would you have left him or him you before the dementia got out of hand? If so you have already made your decision. His history tells you he would continue his old behaviour. Do not expect others to make the decision for you or encourage one way or the other this is something you have to come to terms with alone. Whatever you decide you will find help and support with this group and no judgement.

Go see a lawyer and ask about Separation. It's going to be a long process, since he is not competent to sign anything. The court will first have to appoint a Guardian Ad Litem.

Do you have some savings and a way to support yourself? Speak to a lawyer and have a plan.

Get some counseling for yourself. There, you can learn to set boundaries.
Reading up on another condition, Asperger's, (The other side of Aspergers) the author talked about "if you decide to stay", and gave recommendations.
My advice is consider your choices. If you decide to stay, don't torture yourself by wondering if you should leave. Put your energy into making it work.
If you decide to leave, don't torture yourself with guilt. Maybe some distance will find you both down the road as good friends.
It is the indecision that is torture.

My heart goes out to you. Maybe a trial separation would help. Hope for the best and plan for the worst.

I have Parkinson's. I should start by saying this. I know, without major breakthrough's in science, my meds will run their course of helpfulness. And then I will become a burden. Right now I am still early stage and still enjoying things, though I must time meds. I want to set my wife free before the disability stage so that she can enjoy life without dealing with me then. At a certain point the caregiver has got to think about themselves. Sounds like it is time for you to look after yourself. The burden is kinda of big and you are not appreciated.

Statewide.....I can understand how you feel. It won't get any better. I am sure you have read lots of the responses and I am not an expert. My sweet sweet man has had a major change and gets angry at me for trying to help him, Then, he will turn around and want a kiss. He is dying a slow death. Parkinson, dementia and the whole thing is horrible. I hope that you have some security to fall back on if you leave. If you love him as much as you say you do, you will miss him terribly. Are you the Power of Attorney? Does he have a Trust? Are you protected in anyway at all? My heart goes out to you. Keep in touch with us and let us know what you end up doing.

Statewise, thanks for the history.... now I understanding where you are coming from.

Then I see my very elderly parents holding hands while sitting on the sofa watching TV.... so sweet.... how I wish I had that in my life.

Thank you. Its have not being easy, but, he has always been rude...not when I met him, but, after I married him. I would not want him to leave me, but, knowing him like I know him, he will drop me in a minute. He has a history, he been married 3 times, the first marriage he took both of his daugthers from their mother, his second marry was to a libiraian, where they was married for several months. Than here come me, which i feel now he was a user (ladies man) and I am ready to move on to enjoy my like. I have don whay I can do for him as a caregiver. I get so many complilments from his doctors and his family that I am good person to be able to stand him. I am so tire, because of the frustration I feel towards him.



he will do the right thingthis for the

Statewide, you need to do what is best for you. But remember, how your hubby is acting is because of his dementia, it's a whole new normal that makes the person you first met not be the same. He can't help saying and doing the things he does. It's the dementia talking, not him :(

He could also be angry at himself for the physical and mental changes that are happening to him. I'd be upset, too. So who does he take it out on? You, of course, because you are the closest to him.

If this was reverse, and you were the one with dementia, would you want him to leave you? It's something to think about.

And with time his dementia will become worse, then you would will to think about hiring Caregivers to help him out or to place him in a continuing care facility. That will give you a breather.

Has he always been this way?

Ask yourself this: given what you've written, is there any reason why you SHOULD stay? If not, begin to make your own independent plans.