Is it bad to wish/pray that your loved one to pass so they don't have to suffer any more?

You absolutely should NOT feel guilty for wanting your dad's pain and suffering to end. We all have to die, and if it were my dad, I would pray that God end his suffering soon, if be it His holy will.

Is it bad? A part of me does believe it's bad. And the other part of me doesn't. I remember wishing for years that bedridden, vegetative mom on oxygen, trache, stomach tube (13 years bedridden) would just die. Why does she keep lingering on and on? I already put 23 years helping dad with her. I wanted my freedom. And then I felt soooo bad because I was being so selfish. It was awful, the guilty feelings and then the wishing if she can just let go. Back and forth - seesaw emotions. Then dad had his stroke and became bedridden.... Well, I got my wish - and mom passed away. Didn't get my freedom because it's his turn.

I think, if one wishes for someone to die - because they're suffering - then it's not bad. You just want them to stop suffering. But, I would let them die on their own terms. Let's hope they're not like my mom who lived years longer than what most professionals thought she should have died.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with entreating God to end your loved one's suffering. How He goes about answering your prayer is up to Him.

It would be hypocritical of me to claim a literal belief in the power of prayer because much as I would like to I just don't. But I certainly do believe that placing your trust and faith in your God, especially if you have a strong belief, will give you consolation; and that is why I would recommend it. What's more, the peace of mind you may get from that is likely to filter through to your loved one, which can only be a good thing.

And if that line of argument doesn't help, try this: thoughts come unbidden, and you cannot prevent them, and you cannot be blamed for them. Let them be and then let them go.

countrylogcabin, pls try to banish any thoughts of guilt, this is completely normal. If you think 'how would this person feel if they knew they were currently in this physical a/o mental state, would they want to continue to live?'.
Imagine this family member at the prime of their lives who is taking care of someone who is in the current stage they are now in...what would your dad think or say? Would your dad say 'this person should pass on over now, this is cruel to allow such suffering?'.
There is your answer.
We see a family member who is completely without their mind, wasted away to a skeleton, physical ailments, may be in pain, completely bed-ridden, bed sores, breathing problems, unable to do one single thing for themselves, incontinent, diaper rash, can't turn themselves over-have to be turned to prevent more bed sores...and you think 'what sort of quality of life is this!'. NO, you are not guilty for wanting this person to pass, you want peace for them, for you, for the family. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently.

No it isn't. Pray all you want, pray all you need.

I think it would actually be abnormal if we didn't feel this way. Seeing a loved one suffer is very painful, and even though it's not our fault, it makes us feel guilty and helpless because there's little if anything we can do.

countrylogcabin, what you're feeling is completely normal and compassionate. The end of life can bring so much suffering to a person and their family. There comes a time when we wish the suffering would end. Don't feel guilty about this, because it just shows you care and that you're suffering along with your father.

I felt that way before my father passed. He was incontinent and lost alot of weight. His quality of life had diminished.