My father died almost 4 months ago and my mom still has the picture boards we created for his viewing/funeral all over the house. It depresses me so much I hate to go over there. I guess it makes her feel better but I'm not sure. Should I say how I feel or just hope she puts them away sty some point?
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I'm sorry that her method of mourning is not compatible with hers, and you are entitled to honor your own feelings about this. But please don't tell Mom how she should handle her feelings. Try to find a way to be together than suits you both.
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I think the photos are upsetting you more than the fact that your mother has them on display. Perhaps you should also allow yourself more grieving time, in your own way. Give both of you space for this mourning process.
The loss of a spouse is devastating. Unless you've walked that path, you can't begin to understand the sense of loss one feels. You have lost a father. SHE has lost her whole life.
I've heard it said that the greatest gift parents can give their children is to love each other all of their lives. Sounds like you've been given that gift. Now give mom a precious gift back -- don't put your feelings over hers for the few hours you spend with her in her home. Let her grieve in her own way.
You say that your mother is overly sensitive, and it appears you may be, too. That is OK -- give yourselves time and things will gradually arrive at a new normal. This is a tough period for you both.
Here is another perspective with regards to the funeral photos: There is a difference between pictures of Dad vs. pictures of the funeral. INMOP.
You can help Mom out by having a few good pictures of Dad placed in frames, telling Mom, we won't forget him. Put away the funeral pictures, a sad event to be sure. It is normal to grieve one's own way, but I've seen some unhealthy focus on death of a loved one, pictures of the deceased shared with everyone, for a very long time. Share pictures of when he was alive. I understand.
If we here in this community did not have MaggieMarshall posting, we would have no one posting the truth to shock us back to reality. Take what you want, and leave the rest. I am positive she did not mean just get over your Dad's death.
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