My Mom has MS, can't walk and or feed herself. My sister is taking her meds and selling them. Any advice?

It's so easy for all of us to give our exceptional opinions (of which I gave mine earlier) :)) For me on these kinds of questions for help, there are just too many questions unanswered. Stony272.....if your sister is indeed stealing your mom's drugs, then this is not probably the first time she has done something like this or been in trouble and your mom knows this. You said your mom can't speak but can she write on a tablet, can she nod her head yes and no when you ask her what she wants, etc.? IF she can, then tell her what you are about to do (if you have proof she's stealing). Your sister needs to be stopped (still don't know how your mom is getting refills) and now. Mom comes first and that's what is important not your sister staying in the family (black sheep). Sad but that's a hard fact. I loved my sister but if I had found out she was doing something like this, I would have done something immediately. If your mom says, nods, writes no, I'm not sure I wouldn't do it anyway. If your sister would do this to her mom, she is sick and needs help. Police might be what she needs. Again, Good Luck and God Bless....

It is called "prescription drug diversion". Report it.

First tell your grandma if that doesn't work tell your sister your going to call police on her if she takes it again. get your phone in record if your able to then call the police good luck.

You need to report this to the police. Do it now.

I am sure I am the only one here who is not 100% sure calling the police is the answer. What does the mother want? Yes there has to be a way to keep the sister from stealing the meds but how would the mother feel about her child possibly going to jail? I would try every other way first. If there is a restraining order to keep her away from the house , wouldn't that solve the problem? Ok yall fire away at me. I am just thinking what I would want if I were in the position of the mom.

Excellent advice from everyone on here. Now you have to do it.

Stony, I've been thinking over the original post, I'm wondering again why you feel there's such an urgent need to transfer DPOA authority from your grandmother to you. It's not needed to help your mother in her immediate situation, which apparently is to be secure from the intervention of your sister.

In reviewing the post and your profile, there's no indication where your mother lives, just that you're taking care of her. Is she living with you?

Since she's not able to walk or feed herself, she couldn't possibly be living alone. What's the situation on that aspect?

And where does your sister live?

I've also been wondering how you know that your sister has been stealing the meds and selling them. Are you aware of who the purchasers are? All that information should be provided to the police as well.

You don't need a DPOA to get replacement meds for your mother. I get my father's meds regularly and never have been asked to document authority, and the drug store I go to is a very good independently owned pharmacy. I never had to document my authority when I purchased meds from hospital or store pharmacies either. Of course my charge card does have my name on it, although that's certainly nowhere near a legal document authorizing me to conduct financial or legal affairs, or to make medical decisions on his behalf.

What decisions do you feel you need to make that require either a durable or medical POA?

So, again, I'm wondering why the urgent need to get a DPOA?

Others raise a good point as to documentation of theft. Although you can make a police report without it, it would help for them to have something to go on. In that sense, a list of the meds stolen as well as the specific type, dosage and prescribing physician would be helpful. And since you know your sister's taking and selling the meds, any information you can offer on the purchasers would be helpful to the authorities.

Cat is correct. You're going to have some kind of paper trail of this woman's illegal activity to prove it to the police

Does your sister live in the same house? Does she have a key to the house that enables her to come and go as she pleases? Rekeying/changing locks may be an option if she does not live with your mom. Report to APS, doctor, and pharmacy. All 3 are mandated reporters. This will likely lead to police reports. Tell them you're not sure how to file a report OR it would create so much conflict witnin your family that you must have help with this. Your mom will likely be interviewed by APS and maybe the police. If you think your mom will defend your sister, let APS know that too. Be prepared to tell them why you're unable to keep the drugs out of your sister's possession i.e. she lives there, has a key to enter and leave as she pleases, always finds the pills, family members feel intimadated etc. Sounds like the POA's capability needs to be reviewed and let the 3 agencies know. Tell APS you need help in resolving the POA issue as well. During this process your sister will likely be contacted by authorities. If you have any documentation or evidence to support your claim that she is taking your mom's pills - too few pills to last the whole month? (Pill bottles give the date filled and the number of pills in the bottle. Try to keep distance between you and your sister during this process. If she needs to do jail time it is her fault. If she does jail time, maybe she can get help - if she hasn't already. Mom is priority but sister has to be helped as well. If sister is not helped her behavior will continue. Mom needs her MS medications, Grandma needs to be divested of POA duties as she can not do the job and deal with your sister too. Mom and you need the relief and peace of mind of knowing your mom is being taken care of properly. Mom needs to be safe and as comfortable and pain-free as possible. Mom has got to be feeling the stress of the family dynamics by now, so changing the sister and grandma roles needs to change too.

This is horrible. I am sure that happens often. When my partner passed, they took all of his drugs and dumped them into a bottle of soapy water and something else and made sure the drugs were out of the house that night. When I think of the two bottles of Morphine, that could bring in money for the person who is a druggie. I can see why they do that. One of the drugs he used was one I use daily. I grabbed that bottle as it was not a narcotic and I will save about two month of buying that scrip We paid for these drugs..I did not feel bad about that at all.

You must call the police, and be able to provide real evidence of what she is doing. The police will do very little if you call with a claim that you can't back up. Expect that you will have to go to the police station to file the report. Follow it up with a call to Adult Protective Services once you have a police report number (make sure to get a copy of it). Depending on what entity is paying for your mother's meds - insurance, medicare, medi-caid, etc. you will have to have that information for the police. You must immediately take charge of the medications and ensure that your mother is taking them.

You don't need a POA, you don't need to call the DEA, you don't need to call the pharmacy or the doctor's office. You need to call the police. Your grandmother who has power of attorney must be informed, after the fact. Your sister must be barred from access to the medications. Your grandmother who has POA should also be involved in barring your sister from access.

I don't know why so many people are counseling you to get a POA - that will not solve the immediate problem which is that your mother's meds are being sold so SHE IS NOT ABLE TO TAKE THEM. Who has POA is not the issue - it is your mother's health and safety. Common sense dictates that the problem be solved for your mother's benefit.

That is a felony charge.

I know it sounds harsh to call cops on sis, but what she is doing is truly detestable. Do not assist by looking the other way. MS is a terrible disease, taking someone's Medes is awful, and your own mother's ...... Call police today

Not sure how your mom is getting her refills if your sister is getting them and selling. The dr. has to know that it's too soon to be able to get the script refilled. I mean, I have a hard time if I call in one of mine 3 days early. But I sooo agree with calling the police. Will you lose your sister?? Sounds like you already have. Get her away from your mom and mom's scripts. If she jumps the restraining order she will be taken care of. Why is Grandmother AND you POA? Does your grandmother know your sister is stealing meds? So many questions.

And, by the way, you don't need a power of attorney to call the police. Do it now; get the power of attorney later, although it's not clear to me how that's going to stop the sister unless you use it to get a PPO.

When you call the police, be sure to tell them that the sister is selling drugs; if they have a drug task force or special detective for that function of illegal activity, they can focus not only on the sister but her "customers".

I suppose you could also call the DEA, although I suspect they focus on larger drugs rings. However, you don't know the scope of the sister's activity.

Just get the police after her.

It wouldn't hurt to contact both the pharmacy and the physician who scripted for the drugs just to make them aware of the situation. If there are refills, the sister could be getting refills and get more drugs to sell.

The State policy may also have a drug task force. Bring out the big guns and get law enforcement after her.

I believe her action also constitutes elder abuse; contact APS - they might be willing to work with the police on protecting your mother.

I agree with colorsue. Just make sure you get DURABLE POA.

I agree with colorsue. Just make sure you get DURABLE POA.

Not sure about this advice - but I would be irate to think of anyone taking medication from their elderly parent - and selling them. Is a restraining order the only way to stop her? Can't something more drastic be done sooner??

....which is exactly what getting POA is all about. It can be done in a week or less if mom is cognitively intact. Both getting possession of the drugs before the sister and having legal authority to do so are important. Getting a restraining order for the sister to keep her away from Mom seems appropriate, too. Violation of that order should be a significant penalty of jail or similar where she's unable to steal the drugs.

Forget about POA for now and put your efforts into stopping your sister from selling your mom's medication. You can call the police like Windyridge suggested or you can take the meds out of the house and fill the dispenser somewhere else. Don't try to hide the meds because the sister will find them. Someone needs to take responsibility for those meds and ensure that the sister doesn't get to them anymore.

Report your sister to the cops. She needs to be busted.

This sounds like a good idea. I always have a 2nd person as a back up to the 1st person with POA anyway. You never know if the 1st person named for POA will be indisposed or have passed away prior to being needed for the POA. This will be helpful especially if your grandmother isn't near your mother, has difficulty getting around or if she can't drive.

If your mother is still cognitively intact, she can assign a new Power of Attorney.