How do I tell her to shut up about money?

Hey, I am a big fan of the "Young and the Restless", started watching it 40 years ago... it was my mother-in-law who got me interested even thought I wasn't a soap opera buff.... sure enough, it gave her and I something to talk about, and then some, it was a great ice breaker.... why is Victor doing that, what's up with Jack, I don't like the new actress who is Phyllis, etc.... Mom-in-law and I are still the best of friends, talk weekly, even though her son and I divorced 20 some years ago.

But the soap opera didn't upset my world.... but my sig other did complain about it until I told him the show was "my sports", he then kept quiet behind he knew he would spend 24 hours watching sports all weekend :P

Sorry for the delay in touching base. My grandmother doesn't live with us, so there is not way to shut off the Fox News at our house. But my mother and I came up with a plan (hopefully it works) when she comes over and starts to ask us to turn on Fox News, we tell her that we don't have the Jerry Springer of news shows. I know she is going to argue but she doesn't pay our cable bill let alone live with us. To me, it's sad that she could be bothered when she was told 10 years ago that she really needed a knee replacement and didn't do it and she let her world revolve around watching The Young and the Useless, Fox News, and going out once monthly to get her fake nails done.

My Boss is a big FOX news watcher.... I will watch both CNN and FOX news, to get both sides of the story and then make my own opinion. But my Boss will come into the office spouting this or that and I am thinking "he's going word for word what he heard on FOX news". But I am finding FOX news is toning down the doom and gloom, they are now having some interesting programing on FOX Business.

My Boss learned very quickly not to debate me in politics, as he was coming to the debate unarmed ;) I can hold my ground, I can find accurate information. And I am bi-partisan.... a concept he can't understand :P

Evermoor, anyway of switching over to FOX Business? Mom might start finding economy talking heads a bit boring for her, unless she was an investor. Then she might want to change to a different programing.

OzarkOlly, your Mom is just like my Dad who is obsessed with the weather. Of course I can understand it as it was his upbringing being raised on a farm out in the midwest... everyone back then had underground tornado shelters and his Dad would stand outside looking at the thunder storm watching for those black clouds. No sirens back then.

My parents and I now live on the East coast, yet Dad will call me saying they are closing the schools in Chicago because of the snow.... ????.... it doesn't affect me, it doesn't affect my parents. Mom put it best "at least I know where your Dad is".... in front of the weather map :P

I don't care for the shows either which feature the so-called "Big, Brave Hunters" either playing their version of Indiana Jones searching for a big fish or Bigfoot or whatever. Actually I haven't watched any of them fully as just a few minutes is enough to turn me off.

I think there's a new self-indulgent "Me Tarzan" type of "reality show" - more and more shows are featuring these people who go off somewhere in quest of something or other, with the programs showing these big game hunters flexing their muscles to interfere with the life of animals and fish to just live their lives as animals and fish normally would do.

For whatever reasons, people seem to need and/or crave the illusion of being stars in their own ways - especially the so-called reality shows.

Note to Evermore: don't ever let your mother watch reality shows! She'll really be angry if she sees all that nonsense.

There are also some good musical programs on PBS - the Classical Rewind and other specials during the fundraising are especially upbeat. Evermore's Mom might even be tapping her toes to the lively music of Irish stepdancing. And whatever happened to Riverdance? Her mom would really enjoy that.

Evermore, that's a thought...do you have a DVD? If so, could you play some lively musical programs such as the original Riverdance, or the sequel with Michael Flatley? (I can't remember the name of his troupe.)

There also may be music channels in your cable lineup. There's one of soothing sounds (don't remember the exact name and my tv is on vacation right now), but it's so relaxing - I can even fall asleep while listening to it.

It might help to use music to calm your mother down, especially after the next FOX program she watches.

Yes, that's a good one. I don't like the River Monsters or that big foot show at all. And I'm horrified when they do a hunting show.

The shows about the park patrols in Maine and other places are really good. I love it when they catch poachers.

Boy, we really got off the subject here. I guess our advice to Evermore was to get her to turn away from FOX and to Animal Planet on weekends. She'll probably fall in love with Jackson Galaxy. He's so cool.

Jessie, there's another program your mother might like. It's of 2 men who rescue cats which have decided to become advanced tree climbers and end up in a Mt. Everest of trees, scared and too frightened to come down.

Treetop Cat Rescue is the name of the program.

I love the kitten and puppy programs, especially puppies of some of my favorite breeds like the Newfies, Huskies and other working group dogs.

My mother loves Animal Planet on weekend. She watches Dirty Jobs, Tanked, the tree house guy, the swimming pool crew, and absolutely loves My Cat from Hell. I like them, too, so we can actually watch TV together.

I never understood why anyone would watch FOX news. It's oriented toward rhetoric, inciting anger, and I'll go one step further than Jessie - it's an anti-government, redneck channel, an outlook for angry people to spew their venom and rhetoric. It's also an opportunity for re-tread politicians to reach the kind of people gullible enough to believe these characters are legitimate candidates.

Evermore, if your cable channel has any kind of blocking such as that used to prevent children from watching inappropriate programs, use that to block FOX News. If you don't know how (and I don't as I don't block anything - I just don't watch it), contact the cable company and find out how to block FOX News.

You might try finding programs on wildlife or some of the documentaries on oceans; they're very soothing. Just the photography of the deep blue seas is relaxing.

(Our preferred hospital has always used art to soothe patients, and probably staff. There's a large aquarium in the ER lobby, the trauma bays have oceanographic murals on the walls. It's soothing and sooooo relaxing just to see that artwork or to watch little fish swimming to and fro amidst seaweeds.)

Smithsonian Channel and PBS have excellent nature documentaries as well, although Smithsonian programs can be upsetting for someone in a delicate state of mind (I'm thinking of the Titanoboa documentary) and PBS has political documentaries that can be very traumatic when the topics are political, especially of war-torn countries.

Animal Planet has series of baby animal programs featuring adorable fluffy kittens and rambunctious little puppies. For me it's a great relaxation program. Travel programs are also relaxing.

I had a problem with my mother & The Weather Channel. She would sit & watch ALL day & not realize which weather warnings, etc were for our area & which were for places hundreds or even thousands of miles away. She would call me multiple times a day at work, in a panic, because "they said there's a tornado/hurrican/blizzard/wildfire on the way!" I'd have to explain to her, "No, I just checked the local weather forecast & it's to be fair & sunny today. You saw the forecast for Oklahoma, Mom." She'd be pacified until the NEXT weather cycle an hour later & I'd get yet *another* tearful, panic-stricken call. I was *extremely* lucky to have a very understanding boss but it was getting to the point that, not only were the calls stressing me out, but they were SO frequent that I was afraid my boss's understanding was in danger of eroding to the point I could lose my job! I finally had to block The Weather Channel & I just plain lied to Mom & told her the satellite company dropped the channel. I also ended up downloading a silent ringtone to my phone that I assigned only to her. That way I could still hear other calls that were important but not hear hers 85 times a day.

FOX is terrible. It spends a lot part of the broadcast day trying to make people mad and turning them against others. I've found that people who watch FOX news tend to harbor a lot of resentment. Thank goodness we don't have that drivel around here. FOX has such a strong capitalistic, anti-Democratic agenda and interprets everything in the world according to that agenda. It's a very bitter station.

Block FOX news. It is the worst.

I found that other old people get our family members all upset about money, when in our case, there is nothing to be upset about.

When my mother worries about money I simply say, "Mom, you have enough to last you if you can stay at home, but it will be gone in a flash if you have to go in a nursing home." She finds comfort in that single statement. The nice thing is that it is also true.

Do you usually speak English in her home? If so, I'd recommend using that to tell her to just shut the f*** up about it. Actually, I'd rephrase that a bit to be a tad more respectful, but I'd still use English and also body language.

"Gram, I could watch that news myself if I wanted to. I don't. I'm not interested in a rehash of what they said. ... Did I tell you about the cooking show I watched last week? They had a creative way to cook cabbage ..."

"You and I have different political views, Gram. I love you very much, and I hope you love me, anyway. But let's just agree to disagree and talk about something else."

"I think your financial situation is your private business. I don't want to talk about it with you. If you can't think of anything else to talk about I'm leaving the room now."

Don't get into the situation of arguing with her or trying to convince her. Just make certain topics off limits, and enforce that by leaving the room or hanging up the phone if necessary.