I'm 21 and have been caring for my grandmother since I was 16. She's constantly negative, and threatens me. Is this normal?

Can you talk to her doctor? It seems that he has ordered home care and she has blackmailed you into cancelling it. As far as her threats to report you for abuse, if she were to tell Adult Protective Services that you have hurt her but she wants you there more than anyone else, this makes no sense. The next time she's in the hospital for any reason, talk to the discharge planners and social workers.

Cat, don't be surprised if you need to postpone trying to get into law school. I see that your Grandmother is 88, as per your profile, and her main issues are with mobility.

You have to make a choice, either your Grandmother putting your life dream to go to law school on hold for the next ten years or your Grandmother accepting help at home while you are in school. You cannot attend law school and also do caregiving, impossible to due both.

I wish I could, but in the way that my situation works, I cannot just kick her out of my house, and would not be able to live with myself leaving her-her children would not take me seriously, and being in my own house because of my grandmother, I feel indebted to her.

Give her and her children, 2 weeks notice. They are taking advantage of you. There was another young person that posted on here. I believe that she was 18. A search may bring up her posts. She was in IL.

It is definitely not normal for a 16 yo to take care of a grandmother, and it hasn't gotten any more "normal" in the past 5 years.

If Gram really needs someone to take care of her (and I assume she does) then some other arrangements HAVE to be made, whether she "refuses" in-home help or not. Slavery was abolished a long time ago in this country, and indentured servants are no longer allowed, either.

No one can force you to do the work doctor's have ordered Gram to have done for her.

I assume you love Gram very much and this is one reason you have tried to put up with this non-normal situation for so long. So you are not going to turn you back on her and leave her stranded. But as gladimhere suggests you can get an appropriate agency involved. Area Agency on Aging is one and perhaps the place to start. Perhaps they can help you get a social worker to help you with this situation. Other possibilities are Human Services in her county and Adult Protective Services.

Are you living with Gram? Do you have the means to move out (once Gram's care is settled?)

Catlover, you are right you cannot just walk away. But, you can call the Area Agency on Aging to ask for help. You are only 21 which is much too young to be caring for a grandparent. Wouldn't she want you to live your life? If all this negativity was a sudden change in behavior, she should see a doctor. It coul be that she has a urinary tract infection or some other infection.