veraj2015, sounds like you are second guessing yourself.
According to your profile, your Dad has Alzheimer's/Dementia and he's only been in the nursing home for one week. You need to give it time, like 3 or 4 months for Dad to adjust to this new place, new people, new sounds, new food, etc.
Having someone living with you with with such serious memory issues can be very exhausting from what I have read. And note that 40% of caregivers die while caring for their loved one.... you don't want that to happen to yourself.
Now you can visit your Dad as his "daughter" instead of his exhausted "caregiver". Even if Dad didn't live with you, you still were on pins and needles about him being at home.
I think the questions you have to ask have to do with why YOU'RE not happy. That's all you have control over.
Is he getting the right care? The correct meds? Being seen by correct doctor/nurse practitioners for various problems, i.e., psych, wound care, dentist, pain management, audiology?
Are you being kept in the loop by those treating him, or by social worker (this was our biggest problem initially).
Is he getting to activities?
Sometimes when one has been doing caregiving at home, nh routines are different and are initially perceived as "wrong". Mom liked to nap in her chair after lunch. The nurses insisted she get into bed, which mom hated. They explained they were doing this to relieve pressure on her tailbone, where there was persistent redness, indicating a potential bedsore.
Assuming he is getting proper care stick it out. It can take some time for him to adjust. You may even want to pull back a little, not visit so much and let him get used to the new people around him.
You have to take a hard and honest look at the situation. You also need to consider not only what is best for him but what is best for you. If it means sacrificing you life to care for him for years to come a care facility is the right choice.
I guess you need to look down the road and see what's in store for your dad if you didn't move him. If you're absolutely sure that a NURSING HOME and not asst. living or adult foster care was the way it had to be, then look at it like a parent does with their child. The kid is kicking and screaming about going to the doctor for a shot, but you KNOW you're doing what has to be done for their welfare. Like I said ....big picture. It stinks I know.
4 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
According to your profile, your Dad has Alzheimer's/Dementia and he's only been in the nursing home for one week. You need to give it time, like 3 or 4 months for Dad to adjust to this new place, new people, new sounds, new food, etc.
Having someone living with you with with such serious memory issues can be very exhausting from what I have read. And note that 40% of caregivers die while caring for their loved one.... you don't want that to happen to yourself.
Now you can visit your Dad as his "daughter" instead of his exhausted "caregiver". Even if Dad didn't live with you, you still were on pins and needles about him being at home.
Is he getting the right care? The correct meds? Being seen by correct doctor/nurse practitioners for various problems, i.e., psych, wound care, dentist, pain management, audiology?
Are you being kept in the loop by those treating him, or by social worker (this was our biggest problem initially).
Is he getting to activities?
Sometimes when one has been doing caregiving at home, nh routines are different and are initially perceived as "wrong". Mom liked to nap in her chair after lunch. The nurses insisted she get into bed, which mom hated. They explained they were doing this to relieve pressure on her tailbone, where there was persistent redness, indicating a potential bedsore.
ADVERTISEMENT
You have to take a hard and honest look at the situation. You also need to consider not only what is best for him but what is best for you. If it means sacrificing you life to care for him for years to come a care facility is the right choice.