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H
heidemary Asked August 2015

Mom has been in ALF for 2 years. We are cleaning out her house and Mom wants to go see it. Advice?

Things have changed there. Dad was Mom's caregiver for several years until he suddenly became very ill. After several months out of state undergoing treatment, we were able to bring them home and put them both in assisted living. It was clear that Dad didn't have much time Dad felt that would be the best place for Mom when he passed. He died about 2 years ago, and we kids are now cleaning out the house for rental. It is hard to know how much to include her since she does have some dementia. Sometimes she insists on going to see the house, but we are hesitant because we have been renting it furnished and, although it is in wonderful shape, much of the furniture and her things have been moved or packed away. Is it wise to let her go back to her house?

Mincemeat Aug 2015
It will upset her and open another whole can of worms......take her out for a movie or a day at the beauty shop instead.....been there.....don't do it!

Sunnygirl1 Aug 2015
I would think of many reasons she would not go back. To me, it's cruel, because wall it will do is upset her. You face the possibility of really upsetting her. What is she has a melt down and refuses to walk out of the house? Then you have a real problem. Nothing can be gained from taking her there. Let it go.

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blannie Aug 2015
No, no, no! There have been many threads on the same topic. What would be gained by taking her back? She'd be sad at what she lost -- her home, her independence, and your dad. She can't go back to the house. No good will be gained by taking her back.

When she starts talking about it, gently divert her to another subject and don't take her back.

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