Moving Mom to different nursing home in different state next year, any tips?

Unfortunately I most likely won't be able to visit the area first. I'll have three young kids and a husband with a busy schedule. I will write more later, thank you both for your responses.

That's very thoughtful and considerate of you to move your mother with your family. It's refreshing to read a post like yours.

I think the first issue is whether or not your mother has any dementia, especially confusion as to location, which I think might be the most significant issue of relocations.

Perhaps what you could do after explaining that you're being transferred is show her photos and brochures of the new facility, every time you visit so that she can hopefully become used to the idea of moving and being in a new place.

After calls and interviews, and hopefully onsite tours by someone in your family to verify that the brochures and claims are legitimate, perhaps someone can make a video for your mother to view periodically to get used to the facility, and also give her an opportunity to be a part of the selection process. If not, take photos and present them to her, perhaps one room a day so that she's not overwhelmed. Discuss where she might like to have her possessions placed (photos, etc.) so that there's a sense of planning on her part, and actually customizing her room.

I would focus on getting acquainted with the room (or sample of that category of room) where she'll be staying, then expand out to the activities and common areas. I.e., give her a photographic tour so once she arrives she's not facing a complete unknown. That way the new place won't be such a physical shock to her.

If they're not already on your list, ask about staff to patient ratios, whether food is prepared on site, activities (I'm guessing that's probably on your mother's list already), pet, music and art therapy activities, gardens outside, etc, I have a several page checklist that I used for rehab facilities.

If you're not already familiar with the area, it wouldn't hurt to check with the local PD to inquire about crime rates, as you'll obviously want a place in a relatively safe neighborhood.

Will she need transportation to medical appointments? If the facility doesn't offer that, check with the local transportation company to determine if it has point to point service for elders.

I do think though that after short listing the potential nursing homes, I'd take a trip up there myself to do an onsite inspection. Once when I was searching for a rehab facility for my father, the admin with whom I spoke praised the facility, and it was even more impressive when I saw it, but she didn't understand that we needed respiratory therapy and it wasn't until I was on site for a tour that she realized she had misspoken and there was no respiratory treatment available.

There was another post in the last month or so about acclimating a poster's father to a new environment. The poster was moving his father to AL, but there are some suggestions that might apply to your situation as well (and I didn't select this just b/c I happened to be the first poster on that thread):

https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=father+moving+to+AL

There are some similar posts here:

https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=father%2c+new+facility%2c+acclimation

More here:

https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=adjusting+to+new+facility

I just read another thread about this same issue. A mother was asking about getting her son's Medicaid when they moved to a different state. It said that Medicaid is processed by each state, so the requirements may be different. She would need to apply in the new state. Does your mom have a Medicaid case worker? They normally can give you good information.

I think you will get more responses here about your question.