My Dad had two glioblastoma tumors removed in April. Long story short, he is fading now. He's home and on hospice. He has never addressed the fact that he is dying and has asked me twice now, in recent weeks, when is he going to be better? I don't know how to answer him.
I've danced around the issue a couple of times, in that I've asked him about the afterlife and does he believe there is one. But I've not asked him directly if he knows he's dying and not sure I should. He hallucinates a lot now and I am worried that if he hasn't addressed the fact that he is dying himself, that my questions will be unnecessarily upsetting to him.
Do I just humor him? I can say, "Soon, Dad," without lying. What have others done in this situation?
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I think if he wanted to face that he is dying, he would ask you that directly. So, if later on he does, tell him the truth.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
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Of course, I'm a Christian who happens to have the gift of faith and I do believe in the hereafter, so it's easy for me to say.... "Oh my goodness... he needs to know and to be thinking about what it means!" No desire to be insensitive here at all....
Whatever it seems will calm him in the moment.
If he needs to hear words of hope, find some even if it's a therapeutic fib!
My father, after the hospital told me there wasn't anything else they could do, asked me the same question. I couldn't lie to him, so I said "No. So I'm taking you home." He asked me how long he had, and I said "Maybe a month."
He was gone a week later. The last words he said to me as I bathed him were "Thank you."
Your father knows. Just hold his hand and pretend it doesn't hurt.
You don't say how old your father is or if he has any other health concerns or previous dementia, so it's hard to be specific. What has the doctor told him, what was his original prognosis? If he has been fighting for a cure has he been specifically told that the treatment has failed? Hospice should be offering you some guidance in this.
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