I can't get my wife to wear diapers. Any advice?

Richie, I find a smile is a good reward whenever I help my Mom who is dealing with a brain injury... or to hear her laugh even if that laugh comes out of no where :)

Does anybody expect some kindness from the selfless care we provide for others?

I find that referring to them as briefs or drawers or whatever she called her own underpants is helpful. Also introducing them as a temporary fix until she gets used to them may do the trick.

RichieZak,
You have to pick your battles, but I think I would have to insist she wear the disposal panties/depends, if she is not able or refusing to use the toilet.

My loved one is double incontinent in Memory Care (wears adult diapers) and they put her on the toilet on a regular schedule. I think it helps. Maybe, it would help her. Will she cooperate and sit on the toilet at a certain time, such as when she normally has a BM?

If she is resistant to the disposal panties/depends, then I would have her wear the adult onesies that button in the back and cannot be removed by the dementia patient. If she can't get it off, then she can't remove the adult diaper. I wouldn't argue or fight about it, I would just put them on her, distract, love on and wait for her to accept and adjust. She's not in a position to be in charge of this decision any longer. But, you are the one doing the clean up, so it's up to you if you want to continue doing it that way.

She knows exactly what a diaper is.That part of her brain works too well. She would rather keep soiling herself all day. First in the a.m. she dresses herself, has breakfast. Then she sits to watch T.V.and goes. Next she changes into clean clothes and on and on. She can't speak but the stubborn part of her brain is on full alert. Crazy right? But what can you do but wash clothes.

Richie, is there something about the product that she doesn't like? Or is she unable to tell you? Like they are too tight, pinch, feel to scratchy? Try a different brand to see if she reacts the same way.

There's a company called HDIS that sells all different brands such as Depends, Always, Tena, etc. I found them on the internet and asked for a catalog.

Oh, I forgot to add, that I would start with the depends on a day when you don't have to go out. That way if she is upset or vocal, you can just let her express herself and settle down, without the pressure of having to go out. Maybe, by the time you do have to go to an appointment, she'll be used to them.

I would switch to them all the time too. That way there is no choice. You might try to distract with some of her favorite music, talk of plans for the day and assuring her of how lovely she looks. And you might say that the doctor says that's what she needs to wear right now. I've seen some lovely ones in a nice peach color. I would not call them diapers but new panties.

The only other option is putting pads into her regular panties. I'm not sure how well that would work. I have no experience with that.

Well first of all, don't call them diapers in her hearing, nobody wants to wear diapers!! Get rid of all her regular panties and put the pull ups in the drawer in their place. Tell her they are all in the wash, moths got into them whatever, and you got these new ones to tide her over. Then matter of factly help her get dressed, socks, "underwear", pants etc. Don't even mention that you are using something different than normal. And use them always, every day. Hopefully soon she will not remember the difference.