Why does Mom with Alzheimer's seem to know every detail about one grandchild going to college yet asks repeatedly where MY son is?

freqflyer....oh, but all hubbys are experts on everything! In my universe, anyway ;)

TSM, thank goodness for this website and those writers sharing their experiences. Otherwise I would have been a basket case. Just wish sig other would have been paying attention whenever I told him about this or that that I had read on the forums. He has no experience with memory issues and seeing his Uncle, who had Alzheimer's, once a year for an hour does not make him an expert :P

freqflyer, it must be a very hard adjustment for you dealing with such a change overnight. At least I have had time to adjust to the slow progression of my mom's dementia. And, people who don't deal with this every day have NO clue about these things. Sometimes my hubby will question my reactions to, or decisions for, my mom and I will immediately give him the "SHUT IT, NOWWWW" look....even though he is around every day to witness the issues I have being her primary caregiver, she is not HIS mom and not ultimately HIS responsibility so even though he - and close friends - try to understand and empathize, it's not possible unless they are in our shoes. Sad but true.

TSM, same with my Mom... it's like who kidnapped my Mom and replaced her with someone who looks exactly like her. All this is so new to me because a month ago my Mom was still sharp as a tack... it was a fall with head injury that scrambled my Mom's thinking.

My Mom will be talking about people and places that I know nothing about. One time she mentioned my name along with the name Paul while sleep talking... I never knew a Paul, but my sig other quizzed me about that.... seriously? Sigh... just shows how clueless some people are about these medical issues and he refuses to read up on any of this.... [rolling eyes].

There is no rhyme or reason to their thinking patterns. Mom is spot on one minute then is saying she needs to call her mom and dad (who've been dead at least 25 years) the next. I have stopped trying to figure out her bizarre way of thinking, as a mind with dementia has no rationale. I try not to take things she says or does personally and keep reminding myself that I'm basically dealing with a (spoiled) 3 year old most of the time. Totally NOT the mom I've always known....her physical body looks the same but her mind is no longer her own.

Memory and functioning ability is odd in those with dementia. It really is unpredictable and inexplicable. I would try to avoid taking it personally. I recently had the opportunity to confirm that what I was seeing with my loved one could be quite different from what I had been observing.

t

More in sorrow than in anger… don't be angry with your mother. The feeling that it's all very convenient is natural, but - unless there's a family history that says otherwise - it's unfair. The switching of which set of grandchildren she's able to concentrate on is interesting. What happens when you and your sister visit together?! - don't tell me, your mother will probably give you chapter and verse about what the neighbours are up to but constantly confuse the pair of you, her own children.

I don't blame you for the frustration. It is absolutely maddening, not to mention tedious if you do have to keep answering repetitive questions. But honestly, I promise you, she is not doing it carelessly or deliberately. That still leaves you with all the sadness of a mother who's losing her grip on her family relationships, quite bad enough, but don't allow yourself to feel slighted on top of it. Hugs.

Memory is a funny thing with dementia.. it comes and goes with no reasoning. I wouldn't take it personally though. I know easier said then done though. I find myself being hurt when my dad with dementia repeatedly recalls stories of some obscure relative or friend..but then doesn't remember stories about us.. his own kids during the same time frame.