Sister found an assisted living facility. What happens when money runs out?

Hopefully sis has mom in a facility that has Medicaid beds or will help with finding one if the house does not sell. Medicaid permits home ownership as they will lein the home to repay the program. Perhaps renting it out to provide Mom an income to pay facility costs would work. Or what about a reverse mortgage?

Can you get a short-term renter off of Craig's List or rent it out to a couple of college kids, or find any short-term renter just to buy some time so you and your sister can work through the finances of selling the home - or not. Have you looked into property management companies, seeing they can find a renter for you? If you can, try not to jump the gun on selling the home. After whatever money is gone to care for Mom, the next step is applying for Medicaid.

So over a year ago, posters were suggesting you get a part time job. Your dad died in August of 2014, I think (?). And now your mom is in assisted living, where she probably should be, since she has Alzheimers and is a fall risk, based on your other posts. And you want to get back to Orange County, where your grown children and grandchildren are. What's keeping you in your folks' house? Go back to Orange County! Let your two sisters handle mom.

And when you get back to Orange County, look for a job, even if it is part-time. You're on disability - can you work at all? Can you stay with one of your children temporarily? Or a cousin or friend? Couch surf if you have to. Get back to where you want to be and then start to put the pieces into place to rebuild your life. That's what I'd try to do.

It sounds like you want to stay in your parents' home and take care of your mom, but based on the fact that your sister has POA and has placed mom in a facility, that ship has sailed. Now you need to take care of your own future and you want that to be back in Orange County.

Just to clear up a few things. I'm 55 and legally still married even though we haven't lived together for @5 years. My parents house is paid off, and yes, the 4000- is what we are paying for moms ALF a month. A real estate agent showed us the comps and between him and my sister, came up with this number. Dropped the list price by 50,000 and then after no activity, dropped another 50,000 . I told my sisters I would stay here and keep up the house til it sells and closes escrow. The high figure is really not about the house, we are across from fallbrook golf course and up on a canyon so the view is absolutely breathtaking. My dad bought this house thirty years ago when he retired. As time went by, things got to be too much to handle, as the house is on an acre of land. We hired gardeners and handy men. That is one main reason we aren't getting any offers. We have had several elderly couples that come to see it and love it, but the upkeep on the property scares them away. So, that's that, I hope it made sense. My husband is in basically the same situation. He cares for his paraplegic mom in her place. What a mess! As far as moms situation goes, she kept falling constantly and she finally ended up breaking her hip. Not to mention, congestive heart failure, diabetes, etc...got to be too much for me to handle. As for my future, believe me when I say I've explored many options. I'm on Craig's list not to mention other web sites, I have been told about section 8 and HUD , but it's not as easy as all that. Just recently, several cities and counties opened up their waiting lists. I do have a social security office close by, should I pay them a visit and see what options I have? I sure would rest easier knowing where I'm going eventually. Someone told me that the church could help.

lsmiami I think the $4,000 is what mom's assisted living would cost a month, not the upkeep on the house.

If the expenses are $4000 per month and you reduced the price by $100,000, this is obviously a very high end home. Sounds like you are not going to be able to keep it, so selling it sooner rather than later will avoid upkeep and other expenses It sounds like this home is large and/or in a high end neighborhood.

Downsize ASAP, for example - my relative has a 5 bedroom 2 story house, I live is a nice 1 bedroom apartment - her electric bill is $300/month, mine is $60.

It is difficult and emotional to let go of a family home, it is difficult to change neighborhoods, is that is needed, but if you cannot afford the home and it is too large for you it is time to move to something that will lessen the stress for you and your finances.

Lisaiuv, I went back to read some of your old posts and noticed your Dad had passed on in August of 2014 and back then you were having issues keeping the house maintained. Did it take you and your sister this long to decide it is time to sell the house? Or to find your Mom an assisted living complex that she would like?

Did you and your sister decide the original price of the house or did the Realtor show you comps of other sales and active listings in your area? Curious how the house was overpriced by $100k... sadly an overpriced house becomes "old" and other Realtors usually by pass it. Suggest if possible taking the house off the market for awhile, and if you can wait go for the spring market. Or how about renting out the house? I see you are near a military base, rentals might be good for those who live short-term in an area.

I'm not a real estate professional, just a person who has bought a few homes in my life. I would think that having the utilities off would deter potential buyers. It's hard to see anything in the dark, plus you can't tell if the electric and plumbing are even working in the house with the utilities turned off.

But I have the same questions and concerns that others have expressed. If you were living in your parents' house and taking care of your Mom, why was she moved to assisted living? What was the plan for the house? What was the plan for you?

It's hard to know what to say without knowing how much the house might be worth, whether there's a mortgage on it, how much of the cost of AL your Mom's income will cover and how much will have to come from the house proceeds. I do agree with you that your mother could live a long time. Of course, maybe she'll be eligible for Medicaid by the time her money runs out, and maybe she'll need to be in a nursing home by that time too, even if she is still alive.

But that doesn't solve your need for a place to live. For the time being while the house is on the market, would your sister be willing to let you pay part of the utilities and use your mother's money for the rest, on the grounds that having the lights on will improve the chances of selling the house and getting a good price for it?

Lisaluv, do you have a disability case worker? I'd start the discussion with that person. If he or she can't help you directly they can probably put you in touch with a social worker who can.

Let your sisters do their best for Mom. You focus on your own situation.

Lisaiuv I'm confused. Why did your mom go to assisted living, or is your sister wanting her to go now? And you live in your parents' home now and have been taking care of both of them?

Are you wanting to stay in your folks' home and take care of your mom instead of having her move into assisted living? Is that your ideal situation? What I'm worried about long-term is YOU and what will happen to you. You need to be thinking of your own long-term plan for the future. You're only getting $650 a month in disability? Staying at your mom's place is a short-term option, whether she stays or not.

What will happen when your mom goes, particularly if she's used her money for her own care. What's your long-term plan? I think we need to help you figure that one out. How old are you?

THANKYOU gladimhere, very good info. I am going to check into that tomorrow and as far as where I'm going you ask? I don't know just like gladimhere I have nowhere to go. I'm under an extreme pressure and the anxiety is getting the best of me. Here, I took care of my parents and now neither sister is willing to help me.

I'm not sure what answer you are looking for. A way to stay in the house? What to do when mom's money runs out? Maybe it's both questions.

If your sister just lowered the home price by $100,000, she's either delusional or got the worst real estate advice in the history of the world. How on EARTH did mom's home get on the market $100,000 or more over-priced?? What a complete waste of four months and the prime selling season.

Generally, a home will get higher offers if it's lived in. The exception to that would be if the house is kept dirty and messy by the people living in it or if they make the property difficult to show.

You say you can't afford $400. How about $150 and try to conserve utilities? As for your circumstance, sooner or later you are going to have to move. What have you done to investigate your options...or have you done nothing over the last four months to plan your future? You need to come to grips with what's happening.

As for what to do when mom's money runs out...perhaps someone in the family can advance money based on the value of the home. Or your family can look at the possibility of putting a mortgage on it. What makes more sense than anything, though, is to put a realistic price on the home and get it sold pronto.

And if vacant sis should notify the company that has the homeowners policy. They do not want homes sitting vacant, premium will increase as there is too much chance of vandalism, or squatting. Maybe premium increase will negate cost of utilities.

I am in limbo as well, though not in Mom's house. Was kicked and locked out, after four years of caring for mom, four months ago. Am in the process of returning to my own home where repairs are nearly complete from a fire there a year ago. Hopefully, will find work in my town. Or will I find work elsewhere and be moving again? Who knows?

Yes, extremely stressful!

Vacant possession might make a property easier to sell - I'd ask your real estate agent's advice on that.

It sounds as if your POA sister has a good grip on your mother's financial affairs, which is good news for you too because you all want your mother to be okay; but who's looking out for you? Do have anyone who can advise you about moving on from your parents' home? It would be sensible to start thinking about that now, because what if you all get lucky and a buyer walks in tomorrow? I'm in limbo myself on this subject, I know how horribly stressful it is. Hope you get some good answers, I'm sure others will be along in a little while.

And I'm sorry for your loss, too. Sad to say, the fit and healthy spouse often does seem to be the one who goes first; and it often is a huge shock. Please let us know how you're coping, best of luck.

Sis is Mom's POA?
Are there any public assistance programs through the utility provider that would pay the utilities since you are disabled?
What happens to you when the house is sold?