How do I forgive myself for making a huge mistake with Mom's medications?

Thanks Gorlin, thanks caregivers!

Gorlin, I am going to do that for me AND my husband! Will save time, once a week has caused resentment that he cannot or will not do this for himself even with instruction and support. When he gets it wrong or doesn't do it at all, it is usually me that suffers more when he is just not quite right. When I am left wondering what is wrong, or trying to figure out what his behavior/attitude means, then I re-check his 'vitamins', yes, it's just vitamin supplements, but crucial to keeping him from presenting with various behaviors mimicking schizophrenia, bipolar, etc., because he does not have those diagnoses. Pill box minders, now two 7-days at a time will help me so much.

ansry - that is what I do for my husband. I do 2 weeks at a time - when there are not distractions. I have a container with his pills in them. I take out one bottle at a time. On the top I wrote qty and frequency. I count out how many i need for the two weeks as I am placing them in each days slot. When it is done i put it outside the container on the counter. I do that for each bottle. So far that has really been helpful. Doing it twice a month instead of every week also helps.

Don't beat yourself up. You had an angel there that covered your error. No you know do have a system you can count on and a time when you are not distracted.

Bless you for being so caring.

I forgive you.

Waneck, in nursing, and the pharmacy, the rule is always check 3 times! There ars still errors, it just comes with the territory.
What to check? 1) Right patient. 2) right drug 3) right dose. 4) right time
5) expiration of medication. 6) what is it for? Then, check 3 times!
I agree, stop beating yourself up. You will be more careful, and if you learn how to do nursing notes (write down above) you will be very good at it with your serious ethics. You are good.

My husband (82) does his own and sometimes he makes mistakes.

When my mom did her own (she was 85), she made some whoppers. This was before we realized how bad things were with her. When she got to the end of the bottle? She thought she was done and didn't have the prescription refilled. I, thinking I was being a dutiful daughter, called every morning and asked if she had taken her pill. Oh, yes, she said. After three months of this, I noticed that her memory was MUCH worse. So, I asked her to show me the bottle. After fretting and stomping around for ten minutes she brought out an old bottle of vitamins and some aspirin. She didn't even have the right pills int he house!

That is another way of looking at it. Listen to Rocknrobin!

Nowhere in the caregiver job description does it say superwoman. You are human. The mistake was caught and corrected. End of story. We all make mistakes. Don't swell on that. Dwell on the fact that her aide is on the ball. She is your backup. Move on. You can do this

I myself took responsibility for both parent’s medications (both 81). Have I made mistakes? Absolutely. For example, forgetting to put in a do not miss medication. Dad called the next morning and notified me. It was only a 45 minute drive to get it to him. I tried to multi-task the day before (talk with them and setup pill boxes) and it did not work out.

Not saying there will not be another mistake but this is what I have done now.

1. Purchased additional boxes. I now setup two weeks at a time and keep them in my care. (Mom sneaky.)
2. Printed a simple Microsoft word document that tells what meds go in the a.m. slot and what meds go in the p.m. slot. Keep with the meds.
3. I count the pills in the first a.m. slot. Next, make sure all the other a.m. slots match in count, color, and size. Same for p.m.
4. I wrote on the pill bottles what each med treats.
5. No more multi-tasking. Done only when I have a quiet and undisturbed environment. Usually, sigh, early morning.

If there are other suggestions for this medication business, please let us know. I’m open to additional suggestions.

thank you so much for your comments and for permitting me to stop beating myself up. I don't know if I'm ready to do that just yet, but thanks for making it ok when I do.

I think we women tend to view our mistakes with much more self criticism than men.

Once a friend who was very successful in changing careers and eventually became prominent in his field was discussing a career change. He said he'd made some mistakes, analyzed the situations, recognized what was done wrong and developed a corrective mechanism. Then he moved on, without berating himself.

It's not the same as a medicine issue, but it certainly was important to his career.

I would have been criticizing myself for months, and still do. His situation was much more positive, so I try to remember that now but still have a tendency to mentally beat myself up when I make a mistake that shouldn't have been made.

So my answer to you is that - if the situation is hectic, either undertake the task at another time, or double check it later. Think how you can avoid this situation in the future - perhaps fill meds when no one is around, when it's quiet and peaceful. And double check later.

We're all human; you are too, and your concern reflects such a high level of care and self chastisement that you've suffered enough. Think of more alternate methods if you can, treat it especially as a learning experience and recognize that it's alerted you to a possibility which you can help avoid in the future.

Thank goodness you caught it in time. We have so many things on our mind it's easy to do. You have a good set of checks and balances in place. Even doctors make mistakes. You are a consciencious daughter. Go treat yourself to something nice.

I know I am so glad that one of my Dad's caregiver is taking care of the pills... and she also calls in for refills for me to pick up... whew. As Windy said above "mind boggling".

Personally I think elders are taking too many pills. Example, they don't need multi-vitamins. Just vitamins that their blood test show they are low on... otherwise all an elder or a person of any age does is pee out what isn't needed.

Look at it this way: you won't do it again!

Honestly, you have my total sympathy. I did a similar thing, giving morning med's twice (still don't know how I did that - how did I DO that????). I wanted to kick myself all round the room.

Praise that aide to the skies, be glad that no harm was done; and remember that this is not easy - in nursing homes and hospitals everywhere nurses doing med rounds wear brightly coloured tabards so that people don't interrupt them. As caregivers, we can't hang a Do Not Disturb sign on the phone or on our daily lives; but make a conscious effort to do the trays when it's quiet and you're able to concentrate.

What's that little ha-ha-very-funny? - "Nobody's perfect. Even I made a mistake once." Feel better :)

Those pill calender boxes drive me nuts. It's very easy to make mistakes. My Mom does so many pills it's mind boggling. It's no laughing matter but you're only human. Calm down and quit beating yourself up!