Can my sister's daughter stop me from seeing my sister in the hospital?

State your wishes with the hospital staff.

I am thinking if somebody my age can text, they can ask for their own visitor.

Info on POA

Holy c**p I can't believe how divisive and acrimonious this thread has become! Depending on your point of view the daughter is either a self righteous harpy with no compassion or she is grieving, overwhelmed and protective of her mom. Since there is very little detail provided none of us can really know!

I doubt there are bouncers at the door of the hospital checking for ID, just go and see her. If she is alert and wants a visit, great! Be prepared though if the family is there and won't admit you, to just leave a card or a keepsake.

If a patient sent a text to a relative asking the relative to come and visit her as she lay dying in hospital, and if the relative duly went straight to the hospital, and if the daughter refused to allow the relative in on her own whim and in spite of the patient's wishes, that would be cruel. Also, indefensible in terms of POA responsibility.

I doubt if it happened like that. It's at least as likely that when the relative went to the hospital the patient was in no condition to see her and an unfortunate breakdown in communications took place. And IF that's more like what happened - of course we can't know - then the OP needs to repair communications first and foremost rather than go straight to the question of whether she has a right to demand access. It can't be in the interests of any of them to start picking fights.

Countrymouse, I agree with you that it's what the patient wants and according to the sister, the patient TEXTED her and asked her to come visit her. She should be allowed to see her even if only for a moment to say goodbye. That's all the sister wants, and the daughter is being exceptionally cruel to deny her mother that last acknowledgement. Be careful how you treat someone, because someday you may be in their condition and the aunt may be the only one left to take care of the niece and karma is a bitch my friend. lighten up.

After a twenty year separation, NOW the writer wants to see the sister on her deathbed? If I was the patient's daughter and had been taking care of her needs, I wouldn't want an estranged relative popping in at the last minute making demands. How does the letter writer know her sister "was not in her right mind" to tell the daughter she didn't want to see her sister. Sometimes there is pain and hurt feelings between siblings that time won't heal, and no one has the right to butt. Hospital staff should follow the wishes of the patient and next-of-kin, whether it be regarding visiting or revealing health information (prohibited by law without prior consent of the paitient).

I think the statement that a POA can be used to restrict visitors is incorrect. If the patient is awake, able to communicate at the time, its up to the patient. I don't know why anyone thinks a POA can be used for restricting visitors to a patient in a facility. If the person is unconscious and unable to decide for themselves, the the forms of POA apply.

I believe that I would ask the nurse if there is a POA on file and tell them that your sister texted you to come see her. If necessary, show her the text so she can help with the niece. Sometimes, a nurse will put a sign up on day one if the patient doesn't want to see anyone but later on, say on day 3 or 7, the patient feels like seeing her sister but forgot about the sign. Just ask the nurse to go check on the patient and see if it's ok for her to come see her. If she texted, she wants to see her. The niece doesn't have the right to keep her away from her as long as she hasn't been named as her conservator by a judge to manage her affairs if she can no longer do it herself. I hate to say it but money could be at the bottom of this as well. If the sister has money that the niece will inherit, she may want to keep others away so the sister won't want to add her to the will. If the niece still persists without a POA, the sister should visit the hospital administrator to explain the problem and what she is going to do if she is prohibited from seeing her sister without a legitimate reason.

POA does give the niece rights to refuse visitors if her mom is not of sound mind. I had POA for my uncle and was able to set rules on how much they could tell people and who could see him. I never restricted who could visit but did restrict how much they could tell people.
Try talking to your niece and find out why first, as was mentioned earlier, the visit may confuse your sister. If that is not the case ask her politely, let her know you would like to say your good-byes, most people understand how important this is.

I completely agree with Maggie. It's a question of what your sister wants, and that is all that matters. And I further agree, though I'm much more boring about it than Maggie is, that POA does not give anyone any right to dictate anything. As her mother's POA, the daughter's duty is to serve her mother's best interests and to implement her wishes as far as possible. This notion that POA is a legal way to create monsters drives me up the wall, frankly.

I can readily imagine a) that your sister is not up to emotional follow-up on your reunion; or b) that your niece cannot handle your reappearance on the family scene right now, while she is coping with her mother's terminal illness; or c) both; or d) that it's nothing to do with you personally, it's just that they're already overwhelmed without adding further complications.

Perhaps the best thing to do would be to send a card, with or without flowers, to your sister and tell her you are thinking of her and would love to see her if she feels well enough for a visit. Give the ward staff your contact details, too. And send your niece a compassionate message telling her the same. Then let them be. If you don't make yourself a nuisance to your niece she's more likely to keep you in the loop.

I'm not unsympathetic to your feeling, perhaps, that you've only just found your long lost sister and now, sadly, her time is short; but you must put her first. I'm sorry for your situation all the same. Best wishes, please update.

I disagree that a person with HCPOA or POA can screen visitors. I would ask staff to ask her. If she's unconscious, that's something else again. But a HCPOA or POA doesn't take away the lady's rights to see whoever she'd like to see.

The main issue here is whether or not your sister's daughter has POA or other legal ability to stop you from visiting. If your sister sent you a text saying she wanted to see you, then it would not appear that she is not in her right mind. Perhaps work with the hospital social worker assigned to your sister's floor to start with. If you are promising to not cause any upset and to stay only a short time, based on your sister's request, then it would seem there should be a way to work out a visit. A social worker who can talk to both your sister and your niece, could help to determine what the actual motivation is in someone saying you cannot visit....and perhaps can help achieve a compromise.

She is your sister, no matter how long it has been since you saw her last. Is it because she does not want to see you? If so, respect her wishes. But she will be gone soon and you will never have that chance again. Sounds to me like her daughter is just being a little snot nose, and if she does not have POA, she can't stop you. Good luck.

As Ferris1 said, if your niece has POA then she can dictate who visits her mother. However, I believe this only applies within a facility. If patient is at home, you would need a restraining order to keep family away, otherwise it's a form of elder abuse.

Maybe the woman didn't want anyone out of the family to visit. Maybe the sign should have said Family. Really, if I was very ill and didn't look myself, I would only want family to visit.

Daughters often know much more than anyone else when it comes to their mothers. She may know that her mother was not feeling like visiting with you in the hospital. That isn't surprising, since many people don't want a lot of visitors when they're ill in the hospital. It takes too much energy. If you don't know your sister very well, it may also be confusing to her. I would respect what the daughter requests. She knows her mother.

When my Sis was near the end for some unknown reason, (maybe the medication), she had put a sign on the door of the hospital room that said "No Visitors".

Her beau of 15 years called me from his cell phone in the hospital parking lot. He'd taken the morning off of work, bought her some flowers, went to the room, seen the sign, and went back outside to his car, confused. I had him sit tight and phoned the nurses station. They said that was what she wanted, but they didn't know why either. The nurse assigned to her went to her room and asked if he could visit, and she said "yes, of course he could!". She was very happy to see him and loved the flowers, ...(?). Later that day I was due to go take her some things, sign still there, I checked with the nurse, of course I was welcome. Same when our Dad and Stepmother from out of state came. Not sure who wasn't welcome. I'd speak to the nurses, have them check it out, let your Sis and the medical staff have the final word, not the niece. You just never know what is motivating the niece, this just isn't the time to be playing politics if that is what is happening.

If your niece has power of attorney for her terminal mother, she can dictate who sees her. With a twenty years separation between the two of you, you really don't have anything in common except your biological connection. Try being nice to your niece and extend your good wishes for your sister. Honey always attracts more than vinegar.

Did u show the daughter the text? Sorry.

If your sister is no longer in her right mind then your visit may only confuse her.
I think the family has a right to their privacy at a time like this, and you admit you have not been part of their lives for at least twenty years. I understand your need to maintain this connection and make up for lost time, but in my opinion it is a self serving desire and perhaps not in the best interests of your sister and her family.