We want to bring her home and take care of her until the end. Does anybody know how does that work?

Recently my companion for 20 years died. Doctors couldn't do anything else to help her. So, I brought her home. She was only given oxygen, no food or water. Medicare paid for everything (Hospice). They sent a bed, medications, a nurse and a House Home Aid. She was bathed 3 times a week and visited by the nurse every other day. There is a phone number that you can call anytime if you have any concerns. It was very sad and painful, but she was with me. Another option was to send her to a facility that was going to do the same things I was doing for her and charge a lot of money. No regrets, she went peacefully in her own bedroom and listening to her favorite music ( The nurse told me she was able to hear. Hope it helps.

I took care of my Dad till he died in his bed. It's kind of beautiful. Your aunt will be sleeping most of the time. Hospice will send someone to bathe her, keep her pain free, and give you advice 24/7. Eventually she will stop eating, relax it's part of the process. Then she will stop drinking. When this happens stopping drinking, she has about a week tops. Don't force food or drink on her.

Google eminent death, so you know the stages. Even in a coma she can hear you, so speak lovingly. Dad went into a coma for 3 days, and just stopped breathing. Everyone was there around the bed. You call hospice and they pronounce death, and call the funeral parlor. They come and take the body when you are ready.

There is a you tube video "Gone from my sight", which explains the process. It was very helpful. You are doing a wonderful thing.

Today - Who is making healthcare decisions for your aunt? Don't let the hospital staff bully you into keeping your aunt alive - at all costs - even if she's left in absolute misery. If the staff tries to physically resuscitate your aunt - she could suffer from broken ribs, broken bones and then may be on a ventilator for breathing. Would she want this?? And don't trust that the medical staff is doing what is best for your aunt. They're running up insurance costs as much as possible - then will either kick your aunt to the next facility (where they will also run up the insurance for as long as possible) or make the call to hospice. This is why the insurance doctor is in a hurry to get your aunt out - she got the call from your aunt's insurance that they'll stop paying soon so something needs to be done with your aunt. The longer they are keeping your aunt in the hospital until insurance stops paying - is a win for the hospital. There is a time when we're all going to die - and we all want to die painlessly. You need to let the doctor in charge of your aunt's care that you want a hospice evaluation NOW - because if she's truly dying - then it makes no sense that this insurance doctor is recommending skilled nursing for rehabilitation (from our original post). The doctor in charge of your aunt's care has to write up an order for hospice evaluation to get the ball rolling. No hospice will show up without a doctor-approved order for evaluation. After the order is written up, hospice sends a representative - usually a registered nurse - out to the hospital and reviews the records, talks to the doctor in charge of your aunt's care, etc to make a full evaluation and determine if your aunt qualifies. Google hospice organizations in your area, read their reviews, and tell the social worker/case manager which ones you want to evaluate your aunt. You can call a hospice organization now...today, tell them what's going on and they may work with the doctor to get that order written up.

If she is in fact terminally ill, why in heaven's name would you want her resuscitated if her heart stops? Have you ever seen that done? I worked in a hospital and witnessed an old lady who's heart had stopped being "revived". It was a loud, bright, noisy affair, with a number of people in her room, literally pounding on her chest. I vowed never to put my loved one through that. If someone is young and has some freak event, then it makes sense, but for a senior who is dying anyway, why bring them back, only to have them suffer more?

Please ask questions about your aunt's future and what's best for her...it sounds like it's time to let her go painlessly and as peacefully as possible, whether she has a DNR signed or not. I have one on my 95 year old mom and will work to make sure it's honored when the time comes.

todayforu: I believe the documents you mean are a "Living Will" or "DNR" (Do Not Resucsitate). Did she ever sign one of these?

DNR (do not resuscitate) and DNI (do not intubate). Does grandma have someone designated to make health decisions for her (medical power of attorney)? Is it possible that the hospital has been appointed her guardian ?

Thanks, how long does the insurance company keep a patient in a vegetative state in the hospital? The Dr. from the insurance is rushing us to move her out of the hospital. She is breathing, her vital signs are in range and they only keep her hydrated. No feeding or meds. Finally today the nurses received instructions to revive her in case her heart stops. We did not say to let her died, aren't you supposed to sign a document (do not know the name). All is bizarre!...I am grateful for your understanding.

Most hospice care groups are non-profit, thus the patient doesn't pay for their services, instead the hospice groups are paid by Medicare.

You don't need a doctor referral for hospice. Research those in your area. Call one today. Medicare will cover it. Let them help take this burden off your shoulders. Bless you.

Thank you for your great information, I will always be grateful for your understanding.

Why is this doctor recommending a skilled nursing facility - for a patient who is dying?? Skilled nursing for rehabiliation. And skilled nursing is always covered by insurance - but there may be a co-pay depending on type of coverage and the deductible.

If she is truly dying - hospice should be on the immediate radar - and hopsice provides in-home care/comfort care - and it's all covered by insurance. You have to tell them you want in-home care because there are hospice-run group homes. Tell this doctor that you want a hospice evaluation but Google "hospice" in your area and read the reviews. Overall, hospices are great but there are a few that are bad. It's all about money when it comes to healthcare - even hospice care. Hospice care is a big money-maker! Sorry to sound mean, but it's totally true.

POSTER . . . more info please. Based upon the info you did provide . . . if your aunt has been deemed 'termina;' she would qualify for hospice. Ask the MD (any MD) to order a hospice evaluation. That can happen tomorrow, or as soon as the script is written. This will give you access to more services. When my 40 year old son-in-law was discharged from the hospital we signed him up for hospice. By the time his discharge papers were all in order, hospice arranged for a hospital bed, oxygen and the drug supply to be delivered to the house. He arrived shortly after (via ambulance) and the hospice nurse was there a short time late. The aides came for 2 hours daily 5 days a week.

By the way, do you feel she is teminal??

It sounds like she would qualify for hospice care which can be done at home or in a facility. It's usually covered by Medicare. Call a hospice organization in your area.

She has CareMore Ins., the Doctor from that company told me she won't get well (terminal state). She is on IV only. It seems they do not want to pay for the Hospital anymore. So we have to move her home or to a skilled nursing facility, we can't afford that facility. We decided to bring her home. I do not know how it works. Where can I get information. THANKS!!!

I'm not familiar with "insurance MD's" but assume it's one specifically affiliated with your medical insurance, as opposed to say, any physician who treats Medicare patients. Do you have collaboration from another physician.

I'm really only familiar with Medicare, but I think I would get confirmation that she is in a terminal state, since I don't understand why hospice wouldn't be a choice as opposed to a skilled nursing facility, Maybe I'm just not that familiar with the closeness of the two choices though.