We just acquired my husbands grandmother. She is so self-absorbed and materialistic! Is this normal?

Like to hear that you're keeping in touch with a local nursing home. I don't want to rain on your parade, you really seem to have the bases covered, but you know this can get really bad very quickly. Stay in touch. Let us know how things develop .

Took her to the doc yesterday. The only issue she really has is mobility, and what the doc thinks could be Parkinsons. (she has a shaky right hand, but her aunt had it too, she says she's just like her aunt, and that is all. she does NOT have parkinsons!) Cant blame her for ignoring that. She takes what I call her pee-pee pill. It seemed to not be as effective and was getting up 3x a night to potty. She also takes synthroid, as far as prescriptions. She takes fish oil, vit D and stuff. I did notice that just going to the doctor improved her mood tremendously! We do need to get her ID changed to Michigan. It's on the list of things to do! Thanks for the reply igloo!! I'm calling her brother and sister now to see about visiting!

OMG - what a perfect screen name! Just parfait!

So what did the doc say? & what meds will she be on?

I'm with the group that you need to get her into a senior day program. I'd try twice a week long day with lunch type of program to start. If there is one that provides van pick up, go with that one no matter where it takes her to. Even if she complains, she has to get out & be enrolled. (i had my mom enrolled at Oasis & 2 church based senior day programs & I found that if the van was coming, mom would get herself together & be ready but the 1 she drove to she would slough off often - remember we all have embedded going to school in our brain so we are wired to get back into this pattern). You need to set the pattern now & ahead of her demands. You & hubs need to have united front in dealing with her.

If your going to keep her, you probsbly will need for her to be a resident of your state & update her legal for your state as well. A lot of programs will require valid residency for them to enroll. Look to see what your state requires for ID or DL. My mom was in TX and it's done at TX -DOT which is very exacting in documents required and horrific lines if not planned out.

Thanks for all the input ladies!! We go to the doctor today. There are so many issues, factors in her current situation, I could be here all day writing. Her husband passed in April. She came to stay with us in June and was way more mobile by the time we sent her home. We've put the weight back on her, thank goodness! Not too much by any means, she's a tiny lady, but her cheeks were sunken in, her eye sockets were pronounced. Kind of creepy actually! The only thing she thinks, talks, makes us run to the store for her always has something to do with her stuff. It's all about the stuff. Nick-knacks, souvenirs, etc. Some of her behaviors have shed a pretty bright light on the family's dysfunctions. I'd forgotten about the weight loss thing FreqFlier, thanks for the reminder! Our house really is the best place for her, while we can all handle it. I'm keeping in contact with an assisted living place not far from us.
Her daughter (my husbands mother) was pretty mean to Gma. She's got a "cold & prickly" personality. (Thanking the heavens above she still lives in Florida!) She would rather talk about how our dogs are than her grandchildren. I really appreciate the feedback ladies!!!

I love the phrase Acquired... you really made my day! So it appears she has always been this way? You may just have to accept it

Well you may be seeing why her own daughter's aren't doing much for her, if she's so ungrateful and self-absorbed. I'd say you and your husband need to work out how this is going to continue before you get too far in and burned out.

Looking for a senior place for her to live is a great idea. Or getting her to senior daycare, so she's gone a good part of the day and is around other people. Don't let this continue without discussing it with your husband. Who is doing a majority of her care? You? If so, maybe get your husband more involved.

I will always say that seniors should NOT be caring for older seniors.

This is what is sounds like what happened with your husband's mother and his aunt, once you become of senior age it is very difficult to care for someone much older, believe me I know. You becomes totally exhausted and it will damage your health. GMB, you are much younger, thus you still have the energy to help.

My Mom is 97 and she started to lose weight, lot had to do with as we get older our sense of taste starts to disappear so food doesn't taste as good as it use to, except for anything sweet. My Mom enjoyed her ice cream, Little Debbies, and Pepperidge Farm cookies. But she was still losing weight.

Windy, I checked the profile. She is 87 with mobility problems.

GMB, old people can be quite a handful. Some are very pleasant, but others are like you describe for your husband's gma. Is she going to stay with you for good now? If it becomes too hard to handle, maybe you can find a place for her that is close to you. Chances are that she might enjoy having her own place with people her own age. Assisted living may be perfect for her if that is the case.

It does worry me that she has lost weight. You may want the doctor to check her over to see if there might be a problem.

Folks would need more info to be able to discuss this. How old is she? What is her mental and physical condition etc. It sounds like you're beggining to regret taking this on. You're not alone.........