We have two private pay caregivers who are criticizing one another: one says the other doesn't listen during "report", and the other criticizes her counterpart for not waking mom in the mornings to keep her on a bathing schedule, trying to make herself the "hero" of the situation. They do not respect each other, yet I hate to start fresh as mom has had these caregivers for a year and is now in hospice care and confused much of the time anyways. I would like to keep that consistency but feel so discouraged at the prospect of having to referee between them. Could a hospice social worker help, do you think????
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I think I'd make a list of their criticisms, sit down with both of them and go over the list and ask them to create solutions that they both can agree with, and that meet with your agreement. As Pam suggests, they should be able to work this out without your getting involved...you'll just give them a bit of a push as well as the direction to "get it done."
If you have to, go through a few issues with them, play mediator, ask them their viewpoints and what can they BOTH agree on that would be for the benefit of your mother.
Also, if you have to, remind them that friction isn't helping either you or your mother and it needs to be addressed, resolved and stopped. And, handle it as you would if you were working; document it, counsel them, and continue to document if it isn't resolved. You may eventually have to take action against one or both of them.
To give them a little push, you could and probably should complement them first, pointing out specific things you like about each, then gentle segue into the friction and share how disturbing it is to you and your mother. Then ask them to figure out to resolve it. But do give them some complements so they don't feel totally rejected.
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