My Mother (76) drinks a bottle of wine every day. Now she is not eating?

I agree that cold turkey could be a problem.. but I think weaning her down slowly may be doable? That fre wine is pretty tasty.. good call on the "areation" fiblet!

Wine has an alcohol content from 5-15% as opposed to liquor at 30, 40 % or higher. Perhaps you can find a brand that is lower, this way she would not go into DTs while you convince her to get help.

Pedantic as always, I want to point out that a "glass" of wine is defined as 5 oz. So that's 5 glasses per bottle.

How old are they? I have some sympathy for Dad. If he's the only caregiver, he must be so worn down. I feel guilty about how much TV my husband watches, but I would go mad if not for that distraction.

Parker, you have received much good advice. Please take sometime and absorb what people are saying. There is no doubt mom is alcoholic and at the rate of drink she consumes it would be very dangerous to make her go cold turkey. And i do mean very dangerous so please no switching or watering down. She is at high risk for pancerititus so if she complains of any pain in her stomach or abdomen get her to the ER stat. At this point if you could get her to ER with dads help, they can detox her properly and then she would have to go into treatment or AA to stay dry. Because she is not eating and I imagine not drinking much water she is most likely dehydrayed, so you need to try and get her help. But that being said if she refuses and dad refuses there is not much you can do except learn how to handle it by going to Al anon, they will help you out alot. Please keep us posted and know we are here for you. Big hug your way!

Is this Mom's only impairment? Does she have COPD, cancer, mobility issues, vision problems, hearing loss, dementia ... any thing else? Did she drink so heavily while you were growing up?

More information might trigger more suggestions.

For Dad to stop the wine supply abruptly sounds dangerous.

An intervention with professional help sounds possible.

Joining Al-Anon might be useful.

Do what you can. You are not totally powerless and you may be able to influence the situation. But ultimately you are not in control. Do you best. Do not take on guilt over this.

Go to Reform U website for addiction.

Hmm, a bottle of wine, 750 ml = 25 fluid oz, a glass of wine = 8 oz, so 4 "drinks" per bottle, right? But female, elderly, 90 #, with no food in tummy does change the equation. Can you talk her into putting a 1/2 way mark on the bottle and get it down to 2 drinks for starters? Maybe she'd be hungry then. Probably getting the calories from that. I'd have to wonder if she she is self medicating pain? Illness? When did it start?

The elderly woman described in the question would go into DTs if she stopped completely and abruptly. Those can be fatal too.

I bought the wine she drank and also a bottle of alcohol free (Frei was the brand) and swapped the wines so she poured the alcohol -free wine as if she was pouring her favorite. She did question it - asked why I uncorked it. I showed her an article about Aerating the wine to make it better. She also told me that she thought it was different - I explained that grapes must vary from year to year... just answered in a way that made sense to her.
I forgot to tell my husband that I was doing it - so one night he came home from the office, saw the Frei sitting on our buffet and poured a glass for himself. He couldn't believe how good it tasted for being "alcohol-free" and poured a second glass BEFORE he left to meet me for a community board meeting that evening! Lordy, Lordy... be sure you let others know what you're up to:)

One bottle of wine a day at 90lbs gets her to a very high blood level every day, to which she has become tolerant. Yes, this is a diagnosis of alcoholism. Yes, go to Al-anon somewhere somehow. Is this the first time you knew she is an alcoholic? There will be a whole lot of the serenity prayer in dealing with this. Maybe change is possible. Maybe not.

Is there something going on that you don't know about? A health issue perhaps? My uncle tried very hard to drink himself to death because he was going blind and did not want to live being blind. He didn't succeed, he fell, broke his arm, and ended up in a nursing home for 5 years before he passed.

My grandmother did this for many , many years, Her four basic food groups were: corn curls, necco wafers, cashew nuts, and Taylor's Tawny Port. She lived to the age of 89.

In all likelihood, your mom is an alcoholic, your dad is an enabler, and you are the fretting child. No one's fault.

Go to Al-Anon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will meet people in your same situation, be able to talk, find coping mechanisms, and, just imagine, Laugh!!!!!!!!!!!

Consider getting a guardianship, versus letting this just go downhill. Dad is enabling and as much as it hurts to say it, irresponsible and taking the lazy way out, which is either his depression talking or he just does not love or care enough to do what needs done and is content with helping her slowly kill herself. I am sorry to be blunt, but what he is doing is totally wrong - maybe the motivation is not, but it is wrong for both of them for him to keep doing this. Mom is depressed too and desperately needs the help she is refusing. Are there other family members, a pastor, friends, anybody who would do a good old-fashioned intervention and move Mom to an alcohol treatment facility?

If you try and fail with an intervention that is carefully planned and carried out with all the resources and support you can bring to bear, then at least your conscience is clear as you deal with the grief and the emotions of the inevitable outcome of this situation. I just googled "intervention for elderly alcoholics" and you could add in your city or state and likely find specific professionals who help with this on a regular basis. It is not going to be easy and the outcome is not guaranteed, but the alternative is exactly what you suspect it is.

so sorry to hear that. Your dad must be awfully depressed. I wish he could pour out the wine and fill the bottle with a sparkling non alcoholic beverage. But she would catch on. Or maybe he could refill it with half real wine and half a non alcoholic beverage. Must be terribly expensive...marymember

Not very long. Perhaps she wants death to come sooner than later. A Hospice evaluation might help. Ask her if she wants one. Perhaps she will discuss her health issues with the Hospice nurse more openly than she will with you. You might ask her to sign a health care proxy so you can discuss things with her doctor. If she refuses both, there is not much you can do, so sorry.