I am a 55 year old women who is taking care of my 82 year old father. I have been taking care of him since 2011. I love my father but he is not easy to care for.
I take care of my father 365 day out of a year for 5 years. No days off and no vacation day. This should be against the law. My family and friends are no help because they know that my father is hard to care for.
He has a son that lives 15 minutes away from us and he has not seen his father in 5 years. God Help Him!
Well anyway, I am sick myself. It is getting harder and harder for me to walk. Some morning it is hard for me to get out of bed. I need knee surgery but I have no one to care for my father while I'm in the hospital and rehab.
We can't afford a private agency to live with my father while I'm in the hospital. The last time I checked the live in agency wanted $200.00 a day for live in service. My health insurance will not pay for my father live in service and his insurance will not pay also.
I am a caregiver who is doing the best I can. Trying to stay positive but who takes care of the caregiver when the caregiver is sick? This is why I say no one cares about the caregivers.
If you know of any assistants for me please let me know.
Thank you,
HCG124
26 Answers
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I wish your brother would be involved. That would make things so much simpler. But we can't make people do things they don't want to.
This would probably get more response if it was in the Questions section, so I'm asking the moderators to switch it there. Much luck with this. The main thing to remember is you are the top priority here.
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Sounds like Dad's son fell off the edge of the earth once it became known that Dad would start to need help. Or was there other family dynamics involved?
Would your Dad qualify for Medicaid? That's something to think about as your Dad is getting older and you are also getting older... and as we all know we have our own share of age declining issues. Depends on your Dad's health issues, maybe he can get into a continuing care facility, then that way you can jump start your life again after surgery/rehab, maybe even go back to work and continue to add to your own retirement fund.
You're right that no one cares about the caregivers, but one has to realize we made that choice to become one. I hope your Dad has been paying some type of salary to you to be his caregiver, it's not unusual for that to be done.
Plan ahead... assume people coming to your aid know nothing about you and yours. I have a set of documents for so they can help the caregiver
PDF File of Life Program - Mass.Gov
www.mass.gov/daplymouth/pdfs/brochures/fileoflife.pdf
Massachusetts
The “File of Life ®”contains the same valuable information as the. “Vial of Life” but it is easier to find by Emergency Medical Responders. Because it is placed on .
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Kathy Nealon Attorney 508 435-6969 regarding management of household and bill payment if I am not available.
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In an Emergency call 911 Framingham responder has Smart911 data regarding our family.
MedicAlert Services (med information) 800 432 5378 They provided details
on my family and our home. The emergency needs are displayed at
Framingham emergency center if someone calls 911 from our phone
In a non emergency our preferred Hospital: Newton Wellesley Hosp. 617 243 6000
Have EMT/Ambulance take to:
Newton Wellesley Hosp. Newton, MA 617 243 6000
critical EMERGENCY START AT
Local hospital: MetroWest Medical , Framingham Union
Hospital, 508 383 100
Insurance is provided by Medicare & Medx (BXBS) Medex plus Medicaid
When my mom was first diagnosed with dementia, my dad was told about a federal program at the University that is studying the progressive stages of dementia. My dad contacted them, got a neurologist to take interest over mom. In exchange for their 'studying' mom, they provided a weekly caregiver and some limited supplies for mom. This program has progressed to now including respite care for the caregivers. So, call around. Ask the person if they know of any programs. Get the number and call.
Also through the doctor, mom got a social worker from the clinic. He was also directed to our local govt program for senior citizens. They proved 4 hours of caregiver respite. He was also directed to the Meals-on-Wheels program so that mom can get free lunch meals Monday-Fridays. So call around, and remember to ask if they know of other programs that you might be interested in.
Cutting a phone line is a crime against the provider, whether it's AT&T or Comcast. Call them. It might also fall under the jurisdiction of the FTC or FCC since he cut communication lines.
When someone calmly stated that my lines would be disconnected if I didn't consider their service, I called Comcast and they took that threat quite seriously.
If he closed a joint bank account without your signature, then he must have committed fraud if he forged your signature. What did the bank say when you contacted them?
As to help, the first thing I would do is request a PPO against him. Call your local county courthouse and ask how to get this accomplished. In our area, there's a PPO office with volunteer attorneys who help complete the Petition. Then you would have to take it to a judge for execution. If you call ahead the PPO staff might be able to arrange for someone to go with you to the judge's courtroom.
The sheriff then serves the PPO.
Also, contact a local woman's shelter, the local county or state bar association, and ask if there are any attorneys who handle pro bono divorce work. You'll definitely need representation, and definitely would want to consider a countersuit as well as injunctive relief to prevent him from absconding with any more money.
If the caregiver doesn't have workman's comp, then you need to check with your homeowner's insurance carrier about getting a workman's comp rider.
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