So Mom is now living back in NY, in a nursing home. She still thinks she is going home to Florida someday, but her health has deteriorated far beyond that possibility.
To pay for the nursing home pre-Medicaid, first we have to spend down all her assets and sell her house. She gave us about as much of a go-ahead as we expected to get, so we put the house on the market last Wednesday and I planned to tell her right after Thanksgiving. To our surprise, the house sold within about eleven hours. Now, not only do i have to tell her we put the house on the market, but I have to tell her it is under contract and i need her signature on the papers.
I think she is going to have a meltdown no matter HOW I handle it tomorrow (Sunday 11/29), but if anybody has any suggestions as to how to do this and not leave any casualties, I'd love to hear them!
6 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Anyway, I just came back from having "the talk" with her and it didn't go so badly at all. I'm glad I didn't pull the POA card on this one, as I think keeping her in the loop on SOME things is healthier than going behind her back. Things like changing her address/insurance or cancelling credit cards can be done without the need for her to stress out about them.
Your advice is well taken. No need to explain the "sneakiness" part. I know full well what you were suggesting,
ADVERTISEMENT
I don't advocate "sneakiness".
If you're on this forum long enough, you'll find the use of "therapeutic fibs" and/or omissions as opposed to full disclosure has been used by others to smooth the path and/or deal with changes which elders sometimes just can't handle.
And the house was sold to a young family with children and now that family can develop their own memories in that house... that might be stretching it a bit but it might make Mom happy knowing a young family is moving in, even if that isn't the case.