I just became my Mothers caregiver. I need help finding resources for financial aid. I am 52 yr old female 6ft tall. I have degenerative disc disease and RA. My mother needs 24/7 care. She has a permanent tracheostomy and had open heart surgery at age 84. The trache she has had since 2002. Anyway she has had a difficult time recovering after this surgery. too many things went wrong. I have had home health care coming over for a few minutes two days a week but there starting too fade out. Her surgery was in June 6th. She was in icu for 25 days then sent to a skilled nursing center for 3 1/2 months. She's been home under my care since Oct 18th, 2015. I know that I can improve myself I just need some resources to help me. Like How to bath her in bed. No-one has shown me that yet and I make a mess of it. As well as kill my back. And I do ware a back brace (doesn't help) Sometimes my ADD kicks in I my schedule get all twisted around. Her meds aren't given to her on time because for example I gave her a bath today and washed her hair after that we were both exhausted and I plum forgot her meds until 1PM today. I feel terrible. I need more organization tips. and how to take a brake tips. stuff like that. Maybe where I could find a chat-room online to let off a little steam. Any thoughts? Thank you for spending the time to read my dilemma. and double thanks if you've answered.
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You need to get her on waiting lists for every nursing home within an acceptable radius. Apply for Medicaid for her if you haven't already.
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In a nursing home, your mother would get her meds on a regular basis and be bathed by people who know how to without killing their back.
Read the stories here about optimistic people who promised their moms not to place them in a nursing home 24/7 by themselves and what it has done to the them.
According to your profile, you have already went into your IRA for income which is a huge mistake. What will you use for your own retirement? And you lost your health insurance. Hopefully you can find health insurance quickly, you do not want to be without due to your degenerative disc disease and RA.
For your Mother's best interest, and for your best interest, you need to find other options, there is no way you can work 3-shifts of caregiving. See if your Mom can qualify for Medicaid. Medicaid will pay for long-term-care. There is nothing wrong with being in a "home", my Mom is there and getting much better care than I could ever provide, and that is what is most important.
Sorry for what sounds like tough love here, but we have read too many stories of grown children developing serious medical conditions due to heavy lifting and stress of being a caregiver 168 hours a week. Note that 40% of caregivers die leaving behind their loved one, those are not good odds.
Lot to think about.
I hate to be the voice of discouragement, BUT based upon your description, I don't see how you can handle all of this yourself. Call the county office of aging in the morning and tell them you need HELP. See if any of the houses of worship have volunteers that will sit with your Mom and give you a break. If she is totally bedbound, she can easily develop bed sores and that will be another HUGE problem. Call in hospice for Mom. If approved, she will get a hospital bed that goes up and down to alleviate you bending over. This will also provide aides to assist with bathing.
Put mom in a nursing home where she can get the care she needs and get a job.
Some States have "Cash and Counseling" but that varies from State to State, but worth checking into. Some States this is funded by Medicaid, thus your Mom would need to qualify. But don't be surprised if there is some type of payment for you to care for your Mom that it will be minimum wage and less than part-time :(
That is why no one should be recomending exercise to you. What do you think?
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