How to deal with guilt from an elder?

She will always say that she wants to die. I heard that from my mother non-stop for 28 years after my father died. She was depressed and finally got medications for that, but she still had her mantra every time I visited more out of habit than depression. I finally just did not listen and changed the subject, but it still hurt every time she said it. When she was dying, she fought it all the way until the end.

I wonder if dying isnt what she wants. MY father died in may and i think her depression is worse. i heard of an exam she can be given by her doc.

No she won't. A NH can provide a safe place, great care, activities, bus outings. When she gets on your case just say well in a NH you'd have care 24/7 and lots to do. It would be wonderful. That will shut her up for a while but it will never end. You have to set boundaries, i.e. co-operate or ...