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Beckyloo Asked December 2015

What to do?

My husband is in turmoil, his mother has been put into a hospice facility
She does not have cancer or anything like that. Some how some way his sister got power of attorney ao what she says goes, the day she went in she was talking, eating & loving us all now days later she is in a coma.they have her on a morphine, adivan & haldol coctail, can't drink or eat because they won't let her wake up long enough, we just went through this 2 months ago same thing & we managed to get her out of it but this time my husband was out of town & his sister somehow got Power of attorney & his hands are tied. If anyone has any suggestions please, comment .

jeannegibbs Dec 2015
It sounds to me that if she has gone downhill this fast that she was, indeed, ready for hospice. A doctor had to certify that she was eligible, you know.

"She does not have cancer or anything like that." But cancer is certainly not the only condition that can be terminal. Everyone dies, but not everyone dies from cancer. Hospice is open to anyone in the final stage of a terminal condition. What does your MIL have?

Hospice tries to medicate for comfort. When my husband was on hospice we did not give him those powerful drug cocktails because he did not need them for comfort. His body was shutting down but he was not in pain. We did give him something for agitation. The fact that MIL is given these drugs suggests to me that she appeared to be in intolerable distress and/or pain. Were either of you spending time there to see this? Sometimes if it happens behind your back (so to speak) it is very hard to accept. She was talking the day she went in, and now she not. Very very sad and hard to grasp but sometimes death does happen that way. If something similar happened 2 months ago, then this isn't totally sudden, is it?

The really sad thing here (in addition to MIL's condition) is the conflict between Brother and Sister. This should be a time of pulling together and comforting each other. I sincerely hope they can mend their rift.

GardenArtist Dec 2015
My thoughts are the same as Babalou and Jessie's. There has to have been a diagnosis of terminality for hospice to accept her as a patient. I'm wondering if your SIL is withholding facts about your MIL's care.

Do either you or your husband have HIPAA authority to speak directly with your MIL's doctor, especially the one who prescribed hospice?

If his sister has a DPOA, I don't think that's not enough to put someone in hospice; that's a power of attorney for legal and financial, not medical, issues.

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JessieBelle Dec 2015
Hospice will not take someone unless life expectancy is short. Hospice has to be prescribed or added on after hospice evaluation. A person can't just turn their loved one over to hospice. Babalou asked good questions. Please let us know more and someone may have good information for you.

BarbBrooklyn Dec 2015
What is your MILs diagnosis? Who is her full time caregiver?

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