Are there any caregivers out there who sometimes don't feel as good as they used to?

Emotionally: Before my parents became ill, I was a fun, outgoing, life of the party with a ton of friends and a fantastic career. After I became their full-time caregiver, I'm suppressed with anger all the time because I'm not happy where I'm at in life. It's very lonely. And as time goes by, I just sad and frustrated because I'm no in a position to date and no man will want the burden of dealing my mother. My fear is that when Mom does pass, and I do meet the man of my dream - then he is struck with a severe illness - and I become a caregiver all over again. This just makes me sick to my stomach. I'm bitter all the time because I hear of my friends' moving up the career ladder, traveling, getting married, going to grad school...they are having the life I can't have. My father is deceased. So, it's just me and my mother - who is slowly declining - I hope everyday she'll die that day because her suffering is just hard for me to watch. I'm an only child with no other relatives, and I'm so tired of people telling me "I'm such a good daughter". I no longer view this as a compliment and I nearly seethe with frustration. I feel it's I'm tired Physically: Before being a full-time caregiver, I was athletic and always taking care of myself. After being a caregiver, I've packed on the pounds from drinking red wine to keep my sanity and to keep me out of a deep depression. Last week, I signed up for a total body transformation program at my gym because I'm tired of seeing what I see in the mirror. At least I'm at the point to make a change in my life. The stress of caregiving has also caused a pre-existing issue to worsen; for example, I recently suffered from a small case of an allergic skin reaction but it steadily grew during the week, and I know this is from my nerves flaring up because I hear Mom in her room talking absolute non-sense, rambling gibberish.

Tomorrow I have two phone calls to make to doctors. One to have my mother evaluated for hospice - the other to my obgyn surgeon to cancel an upcoming test in prep for the hysterectomy I've been postponing for the past two years - nothing overly serious but it does need to be done sooner than later - but what's another year? Seems my ability to handle stress has diminished to the point I can't deal with my moms dying and the removal of my internal organs at the same time!

Just do the old Alfred E. Newman thing, What Me Worry? Toothpaste kills germs, so no worries.

The pestilence that bothers me is hacky coughing kids in public places. We had a kid behind in church this morning that was hacking like he had TB or something. All around me sat people in their 80s and 90s. I wondered if this boy's father hated old people, so brought his germ bag son in there to kill them off.

I've been thinking today that caregiving is a lot like any other job, there are days when you just don't want to get out of bed, there are days that pass by in boring routine, and there are days that you seriously want to go postal. Hm, I guess that doesn't say too much for the jobs I've had in the past, does it?

Jessie, I don't know if I am in the twilight zone, but I definitely cringe when someone asks what I'm doing now. I don't quite know how to explain my life to "outsiders".

Caregiving is mentally and physically killing me. I am officially scared that my mother is going to run me into the ground long before she goes. Most selfish self centered woman in the world. She only cares for herself . She has ruined mine and my husbands life and now she is OFFICALLY ruining my health.

I know I have almost zero energy, just walking up a flight of stairs takes my breathe away.... I am just worn out at my age. And emotionally, I use to hate shopping, recently I find I actually enjoy going into a grocery store to get things, it's like a mini-vacation for me :P

I am about 2 years behind going to my own list of doctors.... last time I saw a doctor was when I had a kidney stone and prior to that when I broke my shoulder. But none of the regular ones I need to see like the dentist, oncologist, cardiologist, etc. I just can't face another waiting room.

cwillie, don't you hate it whenever someone ask what fun thing did you do this weekend.... and that person knows you are dealing with an elder. Are they that clueless?

Oh Jude, how did you ever miss that one, it has been years since that made the headlines here! Mom used to say we should have all been dead long ago if all those stories had any merit, there is definitely an ick factor though :)

I knew about the toothbrush thing. Also the pillow thing. Have you all heard about the dust mites that burrow into your mattress? They are tiny. We can't see them but they are there. Another thing I hate is when Mothers change their kids diapers right in the mall and leave the dirty diaper sitting there or toss it in the garbage but miss and don't bother to pick it up. Ugh!! Speaking of new mothers I hate it when they think cause they have a stroller that everyone should get out of their way.

Wait..........this isn't the pet peeve thread........Sorry, my bad. :)

I've got one - has anyone else, besides me - thought thru the whole candle blowing out thing on birthday cakes. They you get a nice big slice...umm, yummy!