Do others miss their passed on pets more than their passed on relatives?
I don't mean disrespect here, but it seems that way... I have a little dog that lived with me for 20 years (!); I miss her every day. My one parent who has passed on so far, not so much.
Dogs are very special creatures. I've seen video of dog rescues where the poor dog has been terribly mistreated - abandoned, starving and near death yet as its being rescued it licks the hand of the human and manages to wag it's tail in spite of not being able to even raise its head. A dogs capacity for love, loyalty and forgiveness is something humans could learn a lesson from. Sophe - I'm so sorry for the loss of your devoted companion - 20 years though, you were very blessed! Maybe after some time has passed you'll be able to bring a new furry best friend into your life. As you know, the shelters are full of dogs eagerly waiting to find a human companion to love. As our dear poster Ashlynne says "Dog bless you"!
I miss my bridge pets more than I do my family or friends. I know that there is something wrong in my psyche that makes it this way, but I don't think I'm really at fault. I came up as a kid never depending on family and waiting to be hurt by them. People never failed to disappoint me when I was young. The only time that my pets ever broke my heart is when they died.
As a child, I had trust issues as well. The only creatures I could trust were the animals in our farm. I understood them, they understood me. When they gave birth, I was there. Even snakes, looking for a quick meal, didn't run away. Somehow they sensed I didn't mean them any harm.
So no Jessie, there's nothing wrong with your psyche. Pets are great stress relievers, and comfort you when you're feeling down. Their love is unconditional.
I'd rather surround myself with animals than people. Which probably explains why I need a woman in my life; but not in my house right now. It's not that easy for me to trust.
Interesting point. We just had our sweet old dog put to sleep this past week. What a gut punch! The house is so empty. Luckily we have a "loaner dog". Some neighbors are off to Florida and left their Jack Russell with us. It really helps.
It's apples and oranges. Your not snuggling on the couch with your 80s dementia parent every night. Nor can you have parents uthanized when the quality of life is gone. It's really kinda backwards. An elders death is always hard but it's a different, deeper grief and it can take a long time to sort out the emotions, guilt, anger etc. depending on the relationship you had.
So true. My 3 pitbulls had to be euthanized years ago, and I'm still crying about it. The female, called B__ch, in 2002; the black male, Midnight, in 2003; and the dumbest one of the 3, White Boy, in 2009. You could look into his eyes and notice there was nothing going on the other side. Every time he gave me that "Duh" look I forgave him anything. All three gave me more love in 2 minutes than my mother did her entire life.
On the Puerto Rican side of the family, my relatives are dropping like flies. Boo, hoo, hoo. Amazing how quickly they become saints. A nephew was gunned down last August; abruptly ending his meteoric rise as a drug dealer. He was only 20. I didn't shed a tear, nor attended his funeral. Uncle Felipe beat his wife every Friday for over 30 years -- sc__ew him. My mother, a consummate emotional blackmailer who's been reenacting the Passion for who knows how long just called me a couple hours ago telling me -- again -- she's going to the hospital. "I might not come out alive," she said. ... I can't wait.
To make a long story short, any pet that stays overnight at my home becomes a family member after 24 hours. No way I'll give them back after that. My dogs were a barometer of my efficacy as a responsible, loving father. I felt as if having 5 kids instead of 2; and there was nothing wrong with that.
Whenever I see people treating each other like garbage and fighting about the pettiest things, I wonder who the real animals are. My dogs were a lot more civil and respecting than that.
I would think that losing a pet that lives with you, offers unconditional love and possibly even sleeps with you at night would leave a very big empty place in your life. Losing a parent who may only show love if you jump through hoops, or who you only see a few times a week or less will not leave as much of a void. You are going to miss your pup every time you put your feet on the floor in the a.m. and he's not there. Sorry you are missing her :(
Pets allow us to experience ourselves in a way other humans don't. They are like children, and I think losing a pet is probably more like losing a child than losing an elderly parent.
I haven't lost a child (thank God) but I have lost several pets. I lost a cat two years ago and I can still feel her soft fluffy weight in my arms and I miss that so much. And losing a dog is so hard because of the way they communicate with you; it's like a whole private little language that you develop with a dog and losing that is so hard. Not to mention seeing your beloved fur-kids sick or in pain. So sad, and you feel so responsible for them! Definitely I miss my pets more, yet I wonder what that really says about the relationships some of us have as grown-ups with our parents.
Sophie I know just how you feel. After a lifetime of abuse, when Mommie Dearest passed I felt absolutely nothing, just a huge relief. As I type this Sue, a minpin x jack russell terrorist, and Ashy Girl, an old black lab, both rescues, are laying by my chair waiting for me to shut down and go do some thing more interesting. I still grieve for Cody, a choc lab x GSD, who went across the rainbow bridge in 2012. Frankly I prefer them to most humans. And yes ... Dog Bless you.
Hey Eddie - I'm picturing you at the park calling your dogs "Here White Boy, come here Bit*h". OMG - so funny! When I married the first time, Flynn, my husbands Pit Bull was a part of the deal. I had only had a Cocker Spaniel up till then and was a little apprehensive of the Pit reputation. Flynn was the sweetest, most obedient dog! When my cat had kittens in his outdoor dog house he would go in a lay down with them when Wanda left to eat, stretch her legs etc. Flynn would even let the kittens try to suckle - did I mention he wasn't overly bright? Even my mother - who never liked dogs grew to love Flynn. He was so terribly ugly - white with the brown brindle, pink eyes and pink mouth. My mom use to say he was so ugly he was beautiful. When my husband left to go back to Austraila he left Flynn with me...only two decent things he ever did for me was my son and Flynn.
Once my beloved King Charles Spaniel tried to nip me when I was getting something from him he shouldn't have. I gave him a bip on his nose - can you imagine doing that to your mother! Of course Charlie carried on like I had kicked him in the head - he's such a drama queen!
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As a child, I had trust issues as well. The only creatures I could trust were the animals in our farm. I understood them, they understood me. When they gave birth, I was there. Even snakes, looking for a quick meal, didn't run away. Somehow they sensed I didn't mean them any harm.
So no Jessie, there's nothing wrong with your psyche. Pets are great stress relievers, and comfort you when you're feeling down. Their love is unconditional.
I'd rather surround myself with animals than people. Which probably explains why I need a woman in my life; but not in my house right now. It's not that easy for me to trust.
It's apples and oranges. Your not snuggling on the couch with your 80s dementia parent every night. Nor can you have parents uthanized when the quality of life is gone. It's really kinda backwards. An elders death is always hard but it's a different, deeper grief and it can take a long time to sort out the emotions, guilt, anger etc. depending on the relationship you had.
On the Puerto Rican side of the family, my relatives are dropping like flies. Boo, hoo, hoo. Amazing how quickly they become saints. A nephew was gunned down last August; abruptly ending his meteoric rise as a drug dealer. He was only 20. I didn't shed a tear, nor attended his funeral. Uncle Felipe beat his wife every Friday for over 30 years -- sc__ew him. My mother, a consummate emotional blackmailer who's been reenacting the Passion for who knows how long just called me a couple hours ago telling me -- again -- she's going to the hospital. "I might not come out alive," she said. ... I can't wait.
To make a long story short, any pet that stays overnight at my home becomes a family member after 24 hours. No way I'll give them back after that. My dogs were a barometer of my efficacy as a responsible, loving father. I felt as if having 5 kids instead of 2; and there was nothing wrong with that.
Whenever I see people treating each other like garbage and fighting about the pettiest things, I wonder who the real animals are. My dogs were a lot more civil and respecting than that.
I haven't lost a child (thank God) but I have lost several pets. I lost a cat two years ago and I can still feel her soft fluffy weight in my arms and I miss that so much. And losing a dog is so hard because of the way they communicate with you; it's like a whole private little language that you develop with a dog and losing that is so hard. Not to mention seeing your beloved fur-kids sick or in pain. So sad, and you feel so responsible for them! Definitely I miss my pets more, yet I wonder what that really says about the relationships some of us have as grown-ups with our parents.
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