When someone makes a special meal that you don't care for do you tell them how much you hate it, or do you say it was lovely? When a small child plays an instrument in a school play do you inform them that they really weren't very good and you wish you had stayed home to watch TV, or do you praise them for their effort? So when your loved one is in a nursing home and wants to go home, do you tell them this is their last stop on the way to the grave or do you say something like, "you're not well enough to go home today, maybe soon. Tell me what you are missing and I will try to find it for you"?
Telling her you do not know is not a lie! Something miraculous could happen through divine intervention that cures her, right? Whether it is likely or not is not the point.
How is it a sin if it makes Mom feel better?! That is the goal correct? Google therapeutic "white lies and dementia". It may also help you if you find some caregiver support groups on the Alzheimer's Association website.
thanks , she doe's have some memory issues but not sure if it is dementia or what, I do not want to lie and it is a sin to lie so what then if I say I'm not sure that is also a lie cause I know she will not be leaving. very sad for me and her.
Does she have dementia? If so, you can tell her daily that you are waiting on doctor's orders for her discharge. Or even just keep telling her next week. This is not lying for the sake of lying. These are known as therapeutic white lies and told for the sole purpose of making our loved ones feel more comfortable. With dementia nothing you say or make up will make sense. The only chance to help her settle in is to tell her exactly what she wants to hear. Do not explain or try to rationalize with her. That will only lead to frustration for both if you and very likely agitation for her.
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When a small child plays an instrument in a school play do you inform them that they really weren't very good and you wish you had stayed home to watch TV, or do you praise them for their effort?
So when your loved one is in a nursing home and wants to go home, do you tell them this is their last stop on the way to the grave or do you say something like, "you're not well enough to go home today, maybe soon. Tell me what you are missing and I will try to find it for you"?
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