Husband wet the bed. Any advice?

Strangely enough, yes. While this discussion has to do with Alzheimers. I use a mattress cover that encloses the mattress by a zipper. Because I sweat from getting hot very easily. Granted I only have a 'single' mattress. I would think there would be one. For a 'twin', 'queen', or 'king' size mattress.

My surrogate dad who eventually developed dementia didn't do anything unusual with his hands. In fact, he always stayed busy at his desk doing actual tasks such as letter writing and other legitimate matters. I really never knew anything was wrong until it became obvious he was developing dementia and he started acting weird, in fact he was starting to not be the same person I always knew. Besides the increasing forgetfulness, it's very hard for me to try to explain that I started realizing dad had a problem.

In the case of my elderly friend, he had no constant hand movement. I noticed nothing out of the ordinary with him until he started frequent flying the squad to the ER more than a normal person would. This became a problem for everyone around him including our medics. He also had some other behavioral issues, but I would've never guessed he had early dementia onset.

jo18535, my dad is 95 and suffers from dementia. I noticed that he would click his fingernail constantly. He hadn't been diagnosed yet and was living alone. I would take him for a ride daily and he about drove me nuts with the clicking. Fast forward to now....his hands are constantly fiddling with his belt buckle or he takes them in and out of his pocket. He's now in AL memory care. Yes, moving of the hands seems to be expected I guess.

My husband, dementia, is always 'busy' with his hands. Is this normal, and if so, do you give them something to be busy with?

Rainmom: You're welcome.

Dealing with a bed wetter for 22 years I thought I'd seen every kind of mattress protector ever invented - so far find the terry/Gore Tex ones do the best job and are the most comfortable. But I admitt I've never thought to check out what the med supply store sells. Next time I'm there picking up something for mom I'll be sure to check them out - thanks for the tip, llamalover.

Rainmom: They just are of better quality. I had beem to one several times with my late Mother.

Llamalover - I'm always on the lookout for products that will help lessen extra work. How is a waterproof mattress protector geared towards a geriatric clientele different from other good quality waterproof mattress protectors?

My husband has dementia caused by his stroke. He mostly stays dry at night, but I have two waterproof mattress covers I bought at walmart. Both are quiet, and washable. The one is more expensive - I think I paid around $25, and has a quilted top. ( full size) The other one cost about $18 I think, and you can feel it does not have the same quality-- but both work well, and wash good. I did learn to dry the waterproof mattress cover by itself - or maybe just a couple items with it. In summer I plan to hang them out on the line.

The other hint I have is for keeping an eye on the patient. My husband used to get up and walk around at night. I bought a baby monitor so I could see what he was doing. I slept in the next room. However, I constantly heard what sounded like his walker, and I'd get up to check on him. Usually it was just furnace, or maybe he moved around in bed. So I bought a security monitor--by Bubba -- very reasonable, and now I know if he is actually out of bed. When the chime does go off, I can look at the monitor to see if he is up or just moving around in the bed. Sure saves me a lot of sleepless nights. His meds have been adjusted so he does not get up as much as he used to.

I have a husband with frontal temportal dementa (FTD)and I got a vinyl mattress protector over putting the whole mattress in a mattress protector. Then the sheets and then a mattress protector from Miles Kimball that goes where he lays to catch the urine and folds under the mattress to help stay (washes well), then have 2 smaller pads that go over that, from Miles Kimball and along with the diaper, have used vinyl under pants and his briefs to make him feel more comfortable with his underwear. IT is a lot but believe me he still wets down to the pads above the sheet. I get him up every 4-6 hrs to use the toilet but that does not always work. Limit fluids after evening meal. SO far he does not wander at night. Ask the Dr about a mild medicine to help sleep like Benadryl, etc. Maybe that help too? It has taken trial and error to find something that works better. Miles Kimball ships faster and I have gotten extra pads when some wet replace with clean. Check on sundowners as that is what happens a lot when the sun goes down..... Hang in there. God bless. Its really hard.

Go to an elder care equipment store to buy a waterproof mattress pad. The products will be far better than something you would get at a store geared towards all age groups.

One final tip to actually make my tips work is to put a lock on the fridge past a certain hour and if you have access to the water control and you're not sharing any apartments with anyone, you can also cut off the water for the kitchen and very latest least very if you have access to the water control and you're not sharing any apartments with anyone, you can also cut off the water for the kitchen and very least. Another thing you can do before you go to bed is cut off the bathroom water but only turn it on again when one of you has to go to the bathroom. Again, this trick can only be effective if you don't live in a building with other apartments. If you live in a single-family home and you're the only ones living there then this little trick is definitely for you!

A final thing to remember is actually a warning:

As dementia progresses, you may not want to be alone with him if this progresses to Alzheimer's because as it progresses, a person may become violent. This is where you may have to resort to putting him into an institution where he can get the help he really needs. You will know where your limit is and when it's time, don't put yourself in danger

Wow! Thanks for the advice. Yes, I will try your advice, also. All the advices I have received on this message board, surely something should work. Again, Thanks, I really appreciate it all the suggestions. God Bless.

If he drinks a lot of fluids during the day, you might want to start cutting him back about 2 to 3 hours before he goes to bed. The closer it gets to bedtime, the less a person should be drinking. When it gets right at bedtime, you really shouldn't be drinking anything right before you go to bed. This cannot only cause you to have to go in the night, But it can also cause digestive disturbance because you're laying down with something on your stomach. Take it from someone who is actually battling what's suspected to be a peptic ulcer. Going to bed with anything on your stomach can wreak havoc on your stomach lining at some point. You may get away with it for quite a while before trouble hits, but trouble will definitely will hit sometime. This among other reasons is why there are warnings against going to bed with anything on your stomach. There are reasons for cutting back on food and drink about 2 to 3 or maybe even several hours before going to bed. In order to get a full nights sleep for starters, it's definitely a very wise choice to cut bad for even a laminate anything well in advance of going to bed. Making this a lifestyle may actually reduce your husbands dependents on diapers or bed pads because you may find that he no longer wets the bed if you can get him used to calling back for cutting out liquids one before going to bed. Even I have found that not drinking anything several hours before bed I actually don't even have to get up in the night. Let's say I don't drink anything after about seven or 8 o'clock and I go to bed about 10 or 11. If I work on letting my body process what's already in there, I will know when my buddies actually done and when it's safe to go to bed because I know I will sleep undisturbed through the night knowing I won't have to get up in the night for a bathroom break. If you get your husband used for cutting back on liquids and even getting him to stop drinking anything the closer it gets to bedtime, you're likely to start noticing a change if you make a habit of it. If he drinks a lot of liquids, you may want to start allowing it at whatever time he happens to get up. You may start encouraging him to get up much earlier to allow the same amount of liquids throughout the day and still get him to cut back starting at the same time each night. Make sure you set a certain time each night to completely cut him off of all liquids and let his body empty itself out and prepare for bed. This is how you reprogram the body because your retraining it. If you help him retrain his body, there may come a time when he no longer needs depends or bed pads. Think of how much money you'll be saving later on when he no longer needs those items because if you look at the price tags in the stores, you'll be shocked at how expensive those items really are. Multiply that by each package you buy each month, then multiply that by 12 and you'll see how much money you're actually losing throughout the year. You can regain that money by taking the initiative to help your husband retrain his body so that he doesn't need those items

I copied the following from Groupon. These are selling online for up to 64%. Mattress is selling for around US$25 or CDN$33 plus shipping cost.

Waterproof Mattress and Pillow Protectors
Protect Your Bedding from Allergens

Waterproof, nonallergenic design
Three layers of protection
Breathable fabric for a comfy, cool night of sleep

Materials and Care Instructions

100% cotton cover layer
Machine washable

Dimensions

Twin mattress protector (39”x75”)
Double mattress protector (54”x75”)
Queen mattress protector (60”x80”)
King mattress protector (78”x80”)
Queen pillow protector (20”x30”)
King pillow protector (20”x36”)

This is how I prevent my mother-in-law from taking her depend underwear off. The worst thing is she uses her hands to handle her bowel content making it a mess in the room. Now I put her in an adult one piece jump suit at night to alleviate this problem. There are 2 types of one piece jumpsuits: The first one is with zipper at the back. The only problem is my mom sleeps facing up. Zipper at the back makes her very uncomfortable. I found a place overseas (a Hong Kong University fashion design department community based store) that makes adult jump suites with specially designed zipper at the front (2 zippers total, 1 to unzip the top, and the other one to unzip from the bottom to make it easier to remove her underwear after the bowel movement). These zipper can only be unzipped using a small pen-shaped stick that I keep. I found this front loaded zipper jumpsuits fit my mother-in-law's needs. The only problem is it requires a lot of work to have it made because I cannot find stores in North America that makes this kind of jump suits. There are lots of stores selling the back zipper jump suits but not the front zipper one in North America. To make the jump suit, I need to mail one of my mother-in-law's top and pant (as sample) and the money to my friend in Hong Kong. The University store will then make the suits based on the sample received. The cost is very reasonable, it is around US$35 for no sleeve jumpsuit, and US$50 for long-sleeve jumpsuits. The reason is the fashion department is operating the store as a non-profit learning place for their students. It took them about 2 weeks to make the jumpsuits. After that, my friend picked up the finished product and mailed it back to me in Canada. Now she is wearing custom made jump suits that eliminate wetting the bed problem for us. The only thing is they purposely made the bottom part (pant) bigger in order to fit in the zipper as well as make it easy for caregivers to access the underwear. In addition, it makes putting the jumper suit on a pretty simple take. My mother-in-law now looks like is wearing a clown's trouser at night.

Wow....maybe I don't have it so bad after all

Thanks so much for all the suggestions and ideas. Everyone has been extremely helpful...Thanks God for this message board.

I feel for you, countrygirl. I'm not sure how my son would manage it but often when he wet the bed he would not only get the bottom sheet wet but every sheet, blanket and comforter - sometimes even the pillows! Having a complete second set of bedding plus a large, heavy-duty washer and dryer is a must at our house.

I think we need to wrap the mattress in plastic. My husband takes off the pads, sheets, blankets and pillows. Then his clothes and sometimes pees on everything. Sheesh!

I will also add another trick I learned a loooong time ago. Rainman would also take off his jammies and pee in his room - so I started buying adult size one piece footed pjs. I cut the feet off them and put them on him backwards so he can't take them off - or put his hands in a dirty pull-up. For summer I cut the legs off a little below the knee and cut the arms off completely. I get them online at a place called Big Foot Pajamas. They are a bit pricy - $40 - $60 and are available in regular flannel, light weight jersey cotton or a fuzzy plush poly. I don't like the fuzzy ones as they don't breath and Rainman gets all sweaty at night. I also do the usual things like restricting liquids past dinner time - which may be more difficult for you to do. Good luck!

I have found a really great mattress protector. My adult son has sever autism and until recently bed wetting was an almost nightly thing. Frequently Rainman gets in bed with hubby and me in the mornings - it's the only way we get to sleep past 4:00am, as that's when he often wakes and if we don't tuck him in with us he will roam the house and get into trouble. So we have the same mattress protector on our bed as well - I know first hand how awful a bad mattress protector can be - hot from sleeping on non breathing plastic and noisy with the crinkling, crunching sounds when you move. The ones I buy are terry cloth on the top side and are Gore Tex on the under side. In case you aren't familar, Gore Tex is a light weight water proof membrane that "breaths" - most often used in athletic clothing such as ski jackets. I get mine at the mattress retailer Sleep Train or Sleep Country. They are spendy - about $120 for a king size. They have two types - one which covers just the top surface and the other that goes over the corners and covers the sides. You might try googleing "Gore Tex mattress protector" if you don't have the stores I mentioned where you are. Like I said - spendy - but so worth it.

Lots of good ideas. if you buy a waterproof mattress cover spend the money and buy a good one. The cheap ones just have a thin layer of plastic which disintegrates in the washer. I really don't care for the idea of the garments that zip up down the back that would be very frustrating to someone who has any perception of that is going on.Have you considered the idea of using braces to clip to either pajama bottoms or the depends.

JC Penny's also has a good supply of waterproof mattress pads which don't have the plastic layer right in there. Always be sure he doesn't have a UTI, and if possible that he urinates before bed if you can. What happens when he gets ups and you try to get him back in bed? This must be really hard on you, not getting sleep as well as tending during the day to wash things and look after him otherwise.

My dad, age 95 and dementia refuses to keep his Depend pull ups on. The AL helps him dress in the morning and puts on his Depends. Within an hour, he naps and off come the Depends and/or his trousers. He ends up with feces on the bed and in his trousers. He will hang up the trousers on a hook, but guess what ends up on the wall.....AL can't force him to wear his Depends. Thankfully he will put on his trousers to leave his room, so far anyway. At night he is completely naked. He used to use a urinal by the bed but I'm not sure about that now. I did have to buy him a bed, mattress and box spring when he went to AL. It came with a guaranteed waterproof pad. You may want to look online for this pad. So far so good with my dad.

Any suggestions on how to keep Depends on him will be appreciated!

There are really nice waterproof mattress pads. I got one for myself on Amazon as I have a lot of pets and sometimes they have accidents (or they do it on purpose, who knows). They are nice and soft on top and are backed with vinyl or rubber. They don't make that crackle noise like the pads do and are very comfortable. I got one for my dad's bed when he complained about the crackling sound the pads make and hes very happy with it. They are washable and are strong (last years). It has saved my very expensive mattress many times.

Angel

I found underpads in drugstores will fil the bill here. As another person remarked, they ten to move and not stay under the patient. I solved this by getting a long elastice with clips at each end. Put the elastic under the mattress and the clip the clips onto each end. I found this item at Bed and Bath/

There is an on line store that sells waterproof mattress covers.

There are plastic mattress pad covers but they are rather hot to sleep on. I would use the washable chucks, they move less. I put one under the sheet and another on top of my draw sheet. I think if you use a draw sheet put the pad under it and tick edges in this may help, you would then only be washing a flat sheet each day and not remaking the bed. This is the only thing I can think of. My mom didn't undress herself once in bed. Good luck.

Depend has disposable bed protectors. You can get them at any drug stores or walmart. You can also consider Inspire Washable and Reuseable Absorbent Underpad - 30"X34" or Reusable 4-Ply Quilted Underpad. We personally tried the Depend disposable and the reusable 4-ply quilted underpad. Both works for my mother-in-law who has Frontal Temporal Dementia and has the same issues as your husband.

Maybe some others will know of a way to protect the mattress from getting wet. I might try to prevent him from taking off his depends. I have read here about adult onsies that button in the back. The person cannot get them off and so they are not able to remove their depends. It's worth a try if it will keep the bed dry.

I think there are alarms for the bed would alert you when he gets up as well.