I know it is depression. She just told me to let her sleep. She started having sleeping binges a couple years ago where she would sleep 48-72 hours at a time, waking only to use the bathroom. Sometimes I could wake her to eat but most times not. She is a smoker and would not get up to smoke at all during a binge. It started happening a couple times a year, then progressed to every couple of months, then every few weeks, now she sleeps more days than she is wake. All her doctors are aware of the situation. Her neurologist did a brain scan and found the onset of alcohol induced dementia due to alcoholism. She was told to stop drinking immediately and I'm happy to say she has not had a drink in a year. Unfortunately the sleeping binges became more frequent after she got sober. She is on Zoloft for depression. I asked her doctor to increase her dose but she didn't think it was necessary. Mum only has two interests reading and cooking. She use to cook all our meals. I felt bad having her do it but gave her a reason to get out of bed. Now she won't even do that. I miss her and I'm very concerned that she won't eat. She's lost a lot of weight. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?
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Your mother is so lucky to have you take care of her. I'm sure you are doing your best. Please see if the following suggestions help.
1. Sleeping for long hours could cause bed-sores and less blood circulation to legs. Try making your mom sit in a chair for sometime. Its okay she takes a nap while sitting.
2. As your mom to change positions while she sleeps or you can move her yourself, if that is possible. At any rate, do ensure that she is not sleeping in the same position always.
3. Its very common for elderly to refuse to eat. As you might already know, giving several small meals/snacks is what doctors advice. Icecream is perhaps the best food for elderly. It packs lot of calories, is easy to swallow and tastes good. But the doctors advice to drink hot water after eating icecream though. Especially in winters. Chocolates, glucose can be kept handy so that your mom takes them whenever she feels like.
4. Do see your mom is drinking enough water. Sleeping long hours will lead to dehydration. Giving water in small bottles helps if see doesn't feel like drinking water.
5. Also ask her often if she is passing enough urine. One of the symptoms of kidney problems (high creatinine level) is less amount of urine.
Most geriatricians and neurologists are well aware of show-timing. If you'd like Mom's doctor to know more about her at-home behavior, right a concise list of the concerns you have, with examples, and get it to him or her before the next appointment.
When Mom is awake, it sounds like you are doing your best to engage her. While she can apparently engage for 10 or 15 minutes in the doctor's office, she may simply no longer have the capacity to do it for extended periods. I wouldn't give up, if I were you, but I might adjust my expectations downward.
I don't know much about alcohol induced dementia, but in general dementia gets worse -- sometimes rapidly and sometimes very slowly.
I suggest that you ask the neurologist and/or her pcp whether it is time to consider hospice care, and if not, what the signs would be that it is time. Not that you'd have to enroll her in hospice now or ever. That's a personal decision. But having some notion of what to expect toward the end can be calming, and should definitely remove any self-doubts about whether you are doing anything "wrong." Dementia takes its own course.
I am so sorry that you and your mother are going through this. It sounds to me like you are doing your very best. Mom is lucky to have you at this point in her life.
Her behavior at the doctor's is common with a lot of seniors - it's called show timing. They put on a great show for the doctor. As long as you offer help and support, whether she chooses to accept it is still up to her.
Maybe consider counseling for yourself, as it's got to be very hard on you and probably has been your whole life. Hugs...