We need help with bathing and feeding for our Mother (104). Any advice?

Yes, see if she would qualify for Hospice. If so, Medicare should cover it. I have read that they provide some in-house care, but it's still up to the family to do most of it. However, if she can be placed in a Hospice Center, they provide all the care there. I hope this is correct. I have no experience with it, but I have read it on this site. Maybe those who have dealt with this issue can respond.

At 104 years old (is that right, wow!) with a recent stroke I wonder if she would qualify for hospice?

Paul, I can understand that Mom wants to remain at home, but there does come a time where that can become too difficult for the family Caregivers, and she could outlive those trying to help her as the family becomes exhausted and stressed. She needs Caregivers who are qualified to do this type of work.

See if your Mom could qualify for Medicaid, as depending on what State you live in would be what programs would be available to help you out. Medicaid could send someone to your home for a few hours each week to give you a break from the 24 hour care.

Gowanda NY is split between two counties, Erie County and Cattaraugus County. So contact your county office of the aging for help. I hope for your sake you are in Erie County.