My Father can barely walk, and he's decided he has to shovel show! Any advice?

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Z

Zombie Asked January 2016

My Father can barely walk, and he's decided he has to shovel show! Any advice?

I couldn't stop him. We have 19" of snow (TV claims 30" but I don't know what measuring stick they're using!). My car is cleared off the top but can't move as the snow is up to the windows. Our road is buried but a neighbor guy is supposed to plow it (don't know what his problem is). That guy refuses to do anything but a straight path, no digging out cars or anything else or making a parking area. I've been digging and making no progress. I've been told that I must go to work tomorrow. I only live with my father, and he decided to go shoveling this morning. He can barely stand up! His body and brain are in horrible condition. My arms are in agony so I can't shovel right now. He's slower than me. So, if something happens to him, I have it here that it was his fault! How could I stop him? Was I supposed to jump on him? Tie him down? We live on 5 acres, and none of the neighbors are friendly which is a shame because they could dig us out if they gave a $%$^.

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score 3 · Answer 1

Let him. That is what a man does, provide safety, and do the hard jobs. Thank him. It is vital to a man to act and feel like a man. It is more important than safety to them. He has to try. A week before my Dad died; he was so weak he could barely get out of bed. He wanted to attend the Memorial day service at the VFW. I begged him not to go. He said he had to. He went. He died 6 days later, a man doing his duty. I never was prouder of him. What can it matter now. Going out a man is the greatest gift you can give him.

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score 0 · Answer 2

We have lots of shovels so that won't work! He came in after 20 minutes. He's been sleeping since then as he sleeps most of the time. Perhaps he realized it was futile. Until the guy who's paid to plow the road shows up, I don't know which areas I should shovel and which not because it depends on what he does. If I spend hours on one spot, and then he plows that spot, what a waste of time! It's way below freezing but the icicles are already dripping quickly off the roof so it will melt faster than he thinks.

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score 2 · Answer 3

I agree with Eyerishlass, hide the shovel. No matter what you say your father isn't going to listen (I know from experience) so you have to resort to hiding the keys, shovel, spark plug from lawn mower, etc.

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score 0 · Answer 4

My Dad always went out to shovel, even last year when he was 94.... doctors have told him don't do it, but he would ignore them. Dad excuse for shoveling was if there was an emergency and he needed to get the car out of the garage.... ok, Dad, what emergency? And if there was an emergency you dial 911 and let the fire dept and EMT's do the shoveling. Unless in my parents world being out of bread was an emergency !!

In the past we use to go to my parents' house to help Dad shovel the driveway, but as we ourselves aged we just couldn't do it anymore, we could barely shovel out our own driveway. Thus, one would need to wait for a crises before an elder would learn their lesson... or maybe not.

Whew, this winter Dad is nicely tucked in a warm cozy Independent Living apartment, and all he needs to do is watch the workmen do the shoveling :)

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score 0 · Answer 5

Because your dad has dementia he can't make rational decisions regarding his health and his abilities. You're there to care for him. Yes, I think you should have jumped on him and tied him down to keep him from shoveling snow. Or more realistically hidden the shovel.

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My Father can barely walk, and he's decided he has to shovel show! Any advice?

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