Since I put my dad into an very nice assisted living, he has been giving them hell. He did have an UTI. That is now cleared up, but is still tearful and has repeatedly cried for me to come and get him. He is 90 and very self centered, selfish, and demanding. Even the nurses are having a difficult time controlling him. He is using so much of their time demanding that they help him to "sail around the Horn of Good Hope;" "Get a taxi to Atlanta." Etc.
He's been there 3-1/2 weeks. At first we, my husband and I, were visiting once per week. He is an hour away, we are retirees ourselves. This can be exhausting. I have also been calling him every morning and evening.
I told my aunt, a retired nurse, and she said I am having too much contact. That I should give him a chance to get used to his environment. She told me by reacting to his demands and bad behavior is making it worst.
Opinions please.
Signed by Daughter trying to do the right thing.
5 Answers
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It may seem hard to believe right now but with time and proper meds your father will adjust.
On your profile I see that your Dad has Alzheimer's/Dementia, thus chances are your Dad may not remember if you had visited yesterday or not... or if you had called him or not. That is how I am viewing this my own Dad who last month moved to Independent/Assisted Living from his house by his own choice.
My Dad's new place is just 5 minutes up the road, and I find I need to give him his space. And I have cut back on the telephone calls, too.
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It harder than it seems not to go constantly, I still try to go once a week but if I have to stretch it out longer I do not feel as guilty. Since I backed off a bit she seems to be doing much better with the adjustment. She know lets the nurses care for her where before she would only allow me and would get very angry otherwise.