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anonymous368781 Asked February 2016

My father refuses to pay assisted living facility or give my POA. Suggestions?

My father does not want to live in a nursing home even though he cannot take care of himself and needs more than just 1 private nurse to take care of him. Staying home and hiring a CNA is not an option because he falls frequently and offer needs to be rushed to the ER. He refuses to pay the ALF or give my poa to do if for him because he thinks that if he does not pay the bill they will let him leave. I have asked the doctor to declare him incapacitated but getting that paperwork is a hassle. The doctors don't want to deal with paperwork. The ALF told me that if his bill is not paid, they will release him to the state and someone will be appointed to deal with him. I hate breaking the law but I had no idea how to resolve the problem so I signed his name to his check to pay for his nursing home care. Do I have to keep doing this? I know I am spending his money on his care and am not stealing from him but the law says it is forgery and might not understand my position. Please advise. I don't want to go to jail. I don't want my father in the street or Baker acted and put in an institution.

PhoenixDaughter Feb 2016
Socrates you are clearly not understanding why some people are very rattled. You have come on here in several guises. You have only yourself to blame ...... lied about your father being dead then alive so whichever it is becomes immaterial - you lied and that will really touch a nerve for those of us who adored their fathers and would do almost anything to have their fathers alive.

Then you put yourself forward as a paralegal - then you say you DON'T offer advice but facts. The you say you act pro bono which in paralegal terms means you should also have indemnity insurance.
But you then tell us you DO offer advice: I tell people how to avoid all that bull. Since I have no law degree and learned everything from my former employers I can not be disbarred.
No but you may be sued if you act in that guise

We have people on here with FAR MORE experience in the legal field than you and while we can determine from their writing that they clearly have a legal background they don't thrust it down our throats or make us feel stupid for asking any question we need to ask

No-one disputes this next bit:
Everyone on this site is giving advice with no license and I have a right to do the same. If you don't like my advice don't take it but stop trying to take away my freedom of speech.

HOWEVER to wrap it in the cover of 'I am a paralegal so I must be right you should listen to me because I am smarter than you' which is not exactly what you are saying but that is how it is coming across will fuel the fire of anger in a lot of people.

The people in here are well meaning, loving, caring people. They understand dysfunctional families- many need the support of people who don't judge then for whatever reason and the open their hearts feeling able, many for the first time, of expressing how painful their lives are or were.

They understand how families are torn apart by feuding siblings - many have the experience of personally going through that trauma and KNOWING which is the best route emotionally for them AND that this is not the same for everyone.

It IS NOT always about money,
IT IS FOR MOST PEOPLE about keeping some form of sanity that will enable them to negotiate the dark long road of handling someone with whatever form of dementia they have.
IT IS about handling their troubles and emotions in a way that is best for them and that they can live with afterwards.

Your previous advice to make a siblings life hell on earth would be wholly inappropriate for someone who may suffer terrible angst afterwards. Being poor or rich for you is seeming to be about money - let me tell you this. I personally don't give a rat's backside how much money a person has, I would take a person with a good heart and who lives a life devoted to helping others explore and reach the full extent of THEIR potential over a wealthy person any day.

The people on here aren't stupid..... so they make mistakes...we all do...those who never do anything wrong have usually never done anything. Just as you are entitled to express an opinion we are also entitled to express how we loathe being lied to.

I am livid for other reasons too but that is not for this forum

pamzimmrrt Feb 2016
Socrates, we have plenty of long time/real name ( sort of but not changing every day) people who want to "teach us" something.. most of us don't want to be "taught" we want support and suggestions.. not made up questions and answers. There are enough Queen Bees here already.. just be upfront and don;t make up drama. I for one have enough in my life... And you admit you don;t want to "ask" questions... so just... stop

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pamstegma Feb 2016
Well, then you better pursue Guardian status ASAP. See a lawyer and ask for emergency guardianship pending a full hearing. If you don't, the ALF will definitely call in APS who will get a court order for protective custody. They will gain full financial control of all his assets, as well as control over his placement and care.

staceyb Feb 2016
Socrates, No, you're evil! Didn't you use up all of your MOTHER'S MONEY, and now that it's almost gone, were looking for a way around the laws of the 5 year look back? So that you could place your Mom in a Nursing home? Oh ya, that thread got pulled by the Administration of the AC, and then you came back under the guise of another name, or 2? You're here just to annoy and to amuse yourself, that's blatantly obvious! In fact, several of your threads under different names have been pulled by the AC Administration! And now you're throwing around legal aid as if you are above the law. You are not! Wait, I think I hear your Mother crying, why don't you go and tend to Her, if she really exists!?

cwillie Feb 2016
If the ALF (or is it a nursing home) has told you they will turn his case over to the State and they would likely appoint a guardian to take care of him then isn't that your best solution? It sounds as though you not close and are already involved more than you want to be.
And as a paralegal you know better than forging a signature, not only is it illegal, it could cost you your job.

gladimhere Feb 2016
What the heck?! Socrates claims to be an attorney on another thread!

pamzimmrrt Feb 2016
Sorry if I offended anyone... just MHO

pamzimmrrt Feb 2016
Will your father add you to his checking account? Then you can write checks with n o fear to pay his bills, and if he passes you will be able to pay any bills left easily? This can be done with out a POA

GardenArtist Feb 2016
Glad, Socrates f/k/a LisaStevens f/k/a Beverly HegDal claims to be a paralegal but also claims to be disabled so apparently she (or he, as a troll can be either gender) isn't working.

There is no way that this person could be an attorney; the posts prove that.

GardenArtist Feb 2016
Pam, YOU aren't the one who's offending people!

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