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nleclercd Asked February 2016

My mom (80) decided not to go on a trip we had planned. What could be going on?

She was already packed and looking forward to it.  No reason given. In the past she had decided not to travel, but would not give a reason. We learned it was financial. That is no longer an issue. She was packed and had purchased new items for this specific trip. We were all looking forward to it. Today she called to say that she didn't want to go on the trip, and will not give a reason other than I just don't want to go. This is very upsetting. Not sure what is going on with her. I don't know how to handle this. I would like her to accompany us because I believe she would enjoy the experience. We just spent 3 weeks with her and she spent enjoyable time with us. I don't know what is going on.

GardenArtist Feb 2016
She may just have some personal reasons and/or issues that she doesn't want to discuss. Three weeks seems to me like a long time for an older person to be traveling.

You don't mention what kind of travel, whether it's by car, air or sea. The mode of transportation may have something to do with her decision as well. Riding long hours in a car from one destination to another would be tiring.

Regardless, I wouldn't embarrass her by pressing for an answer. You might, though, try for just short trips, such as a day trip, which wouldn't be as tiring.

You also don't mention if you're in the same geographic area as her iL facility; if she'll be away from the familiar surroundings of her apartment at IL, that might be a justification for her as well.

JessieBelle Feb 2016
You don't mention how old she is. It could be that the three weeks wore her out, so she didn't know if she could handle more time. 80 is a bit young to be tired out so quickly, but everyone is different. Is she okay to stay at home by herself. If she is, I would just say to go ahead and enjoy your trip. You can tell her about it when you get back.

Don't be surprised though if she calls you at the last moment and says she has decided to go. Things can go back and forth with older people.

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