Can I legally stop siblings from trying to coerce my elderly mother to change her will?

Rainmom, great advice! And good for you, going on the offensive as you have. Threatening to litigate with the inheritance funds is one of the best ways I can think of to put siblings with $$$ in their eyes "in their places" and out of the plotting mode. I doubt they realize they could fritter away any inheritance if they take legal action, or even if they put a PR in the position of defending his/her actions.

Not sure if I have this saying right "the best defense is a good offense". I was executor for my dads will - everything went to my mom so it was fairly easy with no sibling bickering. I am executor for my mom's will as well - an even three way split. My middle brother who suddenly became helpful in the past six months has pulled some sneaky stuff in the past. My mothers sister was seriously mentally ill, lived alone and was very well off financially- other than my mother she had no close relatives. My mom was her sisters sole beneficiary. Sure enough my brother suddenly became very helpful to my aunt. My aunt told my mother she was changing her will to give everything to my brother. Mom wasn't having that - swooped in and got emergency guardianship thus preventing any will changes. Now with my brother suddenly becoming helpful with my mom, I became suspicious. In all fairness my brother did retire over the summer so maybe he just has more time and energy to be helpful. Maybe. I still went on the offensive and nicely let my brother know if any will changes were to occur, I would tie things up in court for as long as it took to insure my moms original wishes were upheld. I also said I would use moms funds to make sure this happened. I also added that mom shouldn't have to pay to have her wishes carried out so I would counter sue for legal expenses. Knowing my mother was diagnosed with dementia - unable to make sound medical or finanical decisions a month after his retirement - this seems to have put a halt to my brothers plotting. The other thing I'll hit on since you mentioned a brother-in-law. Both my sister-in-laws get my brothers worked up over what they are "entitled" to and their "fair share". I have told both my brothers when the time comes I will not be dealing with or talking to either of their wives regarding our mothers estate. Any meetings or discussions will only be the three of us at all time. Period.

If you haven't already sent them copies of your father's Will, do so, and tell them that this puts the matter to rest. You could also shift the burden to them to prove their suspicions and tell them that if they continue to believe otherwise, it's up to them to prove it, and set a deadline for sending that documentation to you.

The issue though is whether this will agitate them more and they'll go after your mother to change her will.

However, if the property is for sale and proceeds are split evenly, what are their concerns? Did someone want the property all for himself or herself? And unless BIL was named as an heir, it's really none of his business.

The "hidden codicil" is regarding a property that has already been listed for sale. It was started a rumor by my brother-in-law. Although it has been debunked (along with multiple other lies) by the estate attorney, they refuse to believe it. My father did everything to make sure the estate was evenly split.

I forgot to mention my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family for the passing of your father.

Are the "hidden codicils" in regard to your Father? What do those siblings think are in the codicils? Or was it something Dad might have said to those siblings? Like, "when I pass you will get all the investment properties"? Sometimes elders with memory issues will say things they don't mean, its the dementia talking.

Didn't the siblings want to have their Mom have everything that she and Dad worked for all their lives? What changes would your siblings want your Mom to make in her Will? I assume, correct me if I am wrong, that everything will be shared equally later on.

Actually, she lives in her family home. She is sharp, physically healthy (for her age, that is), and very independent. She doesn't want to move yet and she is very well attended to by at least a couple of her children. While her mind is still sharp, she is very impressionable and is finding hard to believe that some of her children are acting in this way.

Talbano, some states require that a will be filed after an individual's death. I think that would apply to codicils as well. Ask your attorney about this and if required, if it's been done. It won't close the issue of "hidden codicils" by contentious siblings but it'll show that you've complied with that aspect.

I think as FF queried the issue of accessibility to your mother would be key to the siblings attempting to manipulate her into making changes to her estate plan. If she's living alone or in AL or IL, there's more opportunity for them to secretly manipulate her. I agree with notifying admins of any outside facility or service to notify you, but be sure that you explain the situation and provide a copy of your POA so they understand the issue is one of protection.

As a last resort, and if you actually had proof, you could try to get a restraining order against them, but as of now there's really not much basis for it. And most likely it would increase their hostility toward you.

But by all means keep those "poison" e-mails, as those could be grounds for getting a PPO.

Talbano, you have your hands full with your siblings. Attorneys will not allow an elder or anyone to sign legal documents if they think that person doesn't understand what is in those documents.

Where is your Mom living? Is she still in the family home? Do you or your siblings take care of her on a daily basis? Or does she living in a continuing care community? If she lives in a continuing care community, you can request the front desk to make a call to you any time someone takes Mom out of the facility. If Mom has caregivers from an Agency, you can request same from the Agency.