What would you do if your mother, who suffers from dementia, tries to choke you?

Eyerish, very good point.

Unless she's receiving a bed bath I would disagree about giving your mom an anti-anxiety med before bathing. You don't want her sedated or loopy or sleepy while you're trying to get her into and out of the shower.

Try using the No Rinse products which don't require immersion. You can just wash her while she's sitting comfortably in a warm chair, removing clothing only for that particular body part. These products don't require washing to remove the soap.

She remains warm, doesn't have to strip down to get into the shower, and doesn't face the slip and fall challenges of doing so.

First, give her a sedative before the shower. Her MD can Rx Ativan or a similar med. Second, get her into the shower in her housecoat. Wash feet first, encourage her to do her arms while you do that. Talk constantly to distract her. You can then do hair while she does her face or just covers her face with a dry washcloth. Keep talking. Ok, by now the house coat is wet, keep spraying warm water on it, keep her warm. encourage her to do her front while you massage the back. At some point she will want the house coat off, so do that as she requests it. Have warm towels at the ready, very warm as in right out of the dryer warm. You can buy towel warming buckets or racks.
There is an excellent video, only 4 minutes, on youtube. Look for "Teepa Snow bathing".

Wow. That's intense. Perhaps take action to protect yourself. What if while trying to free yourself from her grip you instinctively pushed her and broke her neck. You could be prosecuted. Maybe it's time for a nursing home.

1. Have the doctor write a script for a bath aide.
2. Tell the doctor about her agitation around showering and get her some meds for that.