My mother has been in and out of ALF's since 09 and wants to live on her own. What do I tell her?
She is normal and wants to live on her own. She has been diagnosed with bipolar but says she doesn't believe that. She argues with everyone. She calls taxis to take her places.She has been baker acted 4 times.
Unless you have guardianship there isn't likely a lot that you can do.
As was mentioned, so much depends on your mother's other capabilities. If she was in assisted living, I would assume that she has some other health issues. If she was just in retirement living, then that's different. Either way,though, you'll need the help of a doctor, and it doesn't sound as if she'll cooperate.
Sometimes there's nothing you can do but let her do what she wants and see what happens.
You mention the Baker Act which, if I understand it right, would involve medical people in a metal health facility. Perhaps they can help you, however unless you have the legal papers to allow you access to her medical records, you may not get far there, either.
You're in a terrible spot but you may not be able to control what happens. If your mother leaves AL and ends up in trouble again, perhaps you can find assistance during that time.
Far too many people with mental health issues don't get the help that they need. The flip side of that is that people need to be protected from those who would abuse them by saying that they are mentally ill (this is not you - I'm just mentioning this as one reason that there are constraints on what we can do for another adult).
I Power Of Attorney for health care would assist you here, but you didn't mention having that. If you do, you'll at least be able to access her health records and perhaps get the advice of one of her past doctors.
We're here to listen to you even if we can't do a lot more. Please update us when you can. Carol
It is very difficult to explain anything to a person with bipolar disorder. The more you try to help them, the farther down the rabbit hole you go with them. I agree with the rest. Many people live independently with this disorder. Depends what type she has, maybe you could check into it. And, of course, if she is on medication or even if she will take her meds when she is on her own. That is the key and a problem because without their meds, they will spiral.
Most, if not all, people with bipolar disorder have to have family or friends supporting them to navigate life. The ones I know with this disorder wear out their supporters frequently. As you've mentioned, this is pretty common behavior for your mom and indicates that she is either not diagnosed properly, which we know is difficult, or is not compliant in taking her meds., which we know is common. I'm assuming that having help with her meds was one of the reasons she was in AL to begin with. Also it is not uncommon, after awhile, for patients with bipolar to stop the meds because they don't feel they need them because they feel fine, which is Another catch 22 for family and friends. As she has the right to leave, I don't see that you have much of a choice in the matter UNLESS she is coming to your home. If she has her own home to go to and can manage for awhile on her own then it seems you must accept it. If she wants to move in with you, then that's a different problem. Your answer would depend on your own personal situation and responsibilities to other family members. One thing you can count on is that things will change. Something will happen that will give you an opportunity for yet another idea ( or force your hand) on how to help her. Perhaps the two of you could go to therapy for help in deciding what her ( and your ) next best step would be. If you could get her back on the meds, she'd probably be ready for the AL again, in about a month. Maybe not that long. It's a huge problem in our country and there are millions being affected. There are support groups. Ask her dr for one and be sure to let her medical team know the current events as it might help them treat her in the future. A big hug to you.
Why the in and out from ALFs? Has she left and then returned a few times?
Why is she in an ALF? As Thomas points out many persons with Bipolar Disorder live independently. Is she under a doctor's care for it? Does she have additional mental or cognitive problems? Why was the Baker Act invoked for her 4 times? Was her behavior out of control? Threatening harm to herself or others? What has happened each time after the 72 hours were up?
Has she been declared incompetent to make her own decisions by a court? Does she have a guardian?
What specific services does she need from AL? Meals prepared? Medication distribution? Activities? Why is it a problem that she takes a taxi places. Does she not come back promptly?
I don't know what I'd say to her, because I don't know what the situation is. Could you explain a little more?
Tina..it sounds like mom is in total denial that she even IS bipolar ..therefore isn't even on Meds ...I'm on this road with my mom..she has two personalities that she flips back and forth to...no one believes me but my husband...they all think it's me...sometimes you feel like you're on an island all by yourself..I pray you get a professional to help you get this under control for your sanity and hers
Many people live independently with bipolar disorder. Listen to the Doctors. Research the Internet. Join a support group that specializes in this area. Good luck.
I must agree with everyone who says but people with bipolar can live normal lives. I knew someone years ago with it and even he live a normal life. I think we should know more about the situation in order to know What's really going on
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As was mentioned, so much depends on your mother's other capabilities. If she was in assisted living, I would assume that she has some other health issues. If she was just in retirement living, then that's different. Either way,though, you'll need the help of a doctor, and it doesn't sound as if she'll cooperate.
Sometimes there's nothing you can do but let her do what she wants and see what happens.
You mention the Baker Act which, if I understand it right, would involve medical people in a metal health facility. Perhaps they can help you, however unless you have the legal papers to allow you access to her medical records, you may not get far there, either.
You're in a terrible spot but you may not be able to control what happens. If your mother leaves AL and ends up in trouble again, perhaps you can find assistance during that time.
Far too many people with mental health issues don't get the help that they need. The flip side of that is that people need to be protected from those who would abuse them by saying that they are mentally ill (this is not you - I'm just mentioning this as one reason that there are constraints on what we can do for another adult).
I Power Of Attorney for health care would assist you here, but you didn't mention having that. If you do, you'll at least be able to access her health records and perhaps get the advice of one of her past doctors.
We're here to listen to you even if we can't do a lot more. Please update us when you can.
Carol
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Why is she in an ALF? As Thomas points out many persons with Bipolar Disorder live independently. Is she under a doctor's care for it? Does she have additional mental or cognitive problems? Why was the Baker Act invoked for her 4 times? Was her behavior out of control? Threatening harm to herself or others? What has happened each time after the 72 hours were up?
Has she been declared incompetent to make her own decisions by a court? Does she have a guardian?
What specific services does she need from AL? Meals prepared? Medication distribution? Activities? Why is it a problem that she takes a taxi places. Does she not come back promptly?
I don't know what I'd say to her, because I don't know what the situation is. Could you explain a little more?