How can we fill out paperwork if Mom can't sign?

I've also found it terribly frustrating that a legally obtained POA wasn't valid for government forms. Pam has as good an answer for you as any I can give you. Often, a notary can help. Otherwise, go to you local veterans representative and ask for assistance.
Good luck,
Carol

Pam does have a good answer as Carol pointed out, and the situation is terribly frustrating. However, Pam isn't necessarily correct that there is no point -- you'll be the better judge of that. If your dad died of a disease or condition that came from his military service or can be traced back to that time period by his doctors -- he was applying for VA disability when he died -- your mom could be eligible for Dependents Indemnity Compensation which is more than $1,000 per month right now - although if your dad was retired from the military and provided the Spousal Benefit Plan, that money could be offset by a dollar for dollar reduction of her monthly SBP which only provides a tax break or small increase. Even with that, there is legislation in Congress to remove this "penalty." This is different than a VA Pension, which helps low income war-time veterans and their spouses. DIC is compensation for having lost a spouse due to those disabling illnesses and conditions that came from service. Contacting a Veterans Service Organization like VFW, AMVETS, American Legion, etc is a good idea, especially if your dad was a particular member of one of those. You might also consult with a VA disability attorney. Failing that option, you might want to contact your Congressman's or Senator's office.

All that said, an extra $1,000 per month might be the difference between in getting better care for your mom in many ways.

I'm with Reverseroles. I am not sure if it must be notarized for the VA. They just asked me to put my mother on the phone. How do they know it's your mother? I say help her sign.If that is all they require, give the devil his due, or give them what they want. When we try to be so orthodox and abide by all the rules, we are often frustrated.

Tough situation. As a Notary, all I need is a scribble or X on the paper, but I have to be sure she knows what she is signing.
If Dad is passed away, there is no point in pursuing his disability, but you could pursue a widow's pension if she is low income and few assets. Local veteran's organizations can help you.

Dpoa is not recognized thru va.
Hold mons hand and make an x.
I am 100% sure of this.

It might be time to go for guardianship. Especially if there will be many documents to be signed that she does not understand. Are you an authorized signer on any of her financial documents, checks etc? If not take your POA to the bank and start that process also.

Explain its money to help her and help her sign an x.
Otherwise its a visit from the va and a long process to become her advocate in their eyes.

Just an idea - but for my Mom, who suffered with debilitating vascular dementia, her doctor wrote a letter to the effect that her general condition was declining quickly and she can no longer manage her affairs. In the letter he suggested that i "[my name] be allowed to conduct her financial and medical decisions at this point since she lacks the capacity to do so herself."

i have POA - but it didn't help, even in trying to work with her attorney that drew up the POAs.

Get the letter as soon as possible - you may need it to conduct business at her banks [you'll need to sign her checks, etc], with the utility companies, [privacy laws] and credit cards [even to find out how much is due in case a bill doesn't come in the mail], the pharmacy [HIPPA]/order or pick up RXs, and the list goes on. Each of these entities would need to have a letter on file, along with your POA. [Just choose the why and timing of who gets the letter -- i used it only when all other efforts failed.] Keep track of who you provide a physical copy.

It's worth the try - you don't have the time nor energy to go through the hoops of applying for guardianship through the court system. [Sadly, the last resort]. Discuss it with her nurse [if under home care] or her doctor - they are very accustomed to needing to write these types of documents to help the family help the patient. This letter could always be an adjunct to a notarized scribble, but the scribble doesn't infer that your Mom has cognitive awareness of what she's signing. i opened up a temporary 30-day trial FAX app on the computer [i couldn't leave Mom home alone] so that the doctor could fax it to me. i needed the letter urgently for medical and financial and it MUST be on letterhead. i've POA for both - but the letter is what opened up access].

Just a thought - but does your Mom understand the reason for signing? If not, you'd definitely want the doctor's letter as a scribble or X could impede her care - that she still can make decision for herself, it's just that she lacks the ability to write. i had a NH/Rehab facility coerce Mom into signing a discharge from PT. They told her to sign here ... and -poof- her PT was stopped. It took 3 weeks of frustrating toil to override that situation and get Mom's PT reinstated. Her signature was indeed a scribe, they KNEW i had POA, they KNEW she had alzheimers, and yet ... they claimed "we didn't know - accusing me of not having provided POA upon admission. [There is no other way to complete the admission process: they just wanted to stop her PT and when i challenged it, all of a sudden "we found the POA documents," But that single moment in time caused Mom to suffer: they made her sit upright in a wheelchair for 5 hours straight in front of the nurse's station. Her spine was atrophied from shoulder replacement surgery and neglect [she had blisters on her heels and Stage 2/3 bedsores].

God bless ~crickett33

My FIL was a vet. I told the clerk at VA he couldn't sign. She said take the papers out. Bring them back in signed. He died before we could do that. MIL died one month later. So we didn't pursue. We were also told POA not accepted.

Reverseroles: You're correct.