Any suggestions on dealing with a person losing their memory?

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Hadnuff Asked March 2016

Any suggestions on dealing with a person losing their memory?

I am dealing with this person because he was Dads businesses partner. He took care of property and renting stuff when Dad died. Company was sued and settlement was reached a year ago. The law firm has been trying to get final payment for services. He would not pay. Said lawyer did everything wrong. They owe mom money. Law firm finally contacted me. I paid bill. So I get call with yelling and very angry rant. Why did you pay? Mom could get a lot of money back. They messed up the case, etc. I Talked to lawyer. He said Sam couldn't understand that he still owed. Even when it was explained over and over. Lawyer said Sam was happy at settlement and hugged female lawyer. Said his memory seems to have gone down hill in the last year. But other than that he seems rational. How do I talk to a person that I can't reason with. That can't remember what really happened. When he is angry and saying you don't want me to have to go to mom for money for lawyer to sue old lawyer. Mom in rehab nursing home. I can't dodge his phone calls forever.

Alzheimer's & Dementia

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score 0 · Answer 1

keep your mind busy in different things. This might help you. must try.

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score 0 · Answer 2

#1 Have them write down what they remember about the past, #2 have them write down what they know now, #3 have them tell you their end-of-life wishes.

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score 0 · Answer 3

You don't say how old this man is but this was probably a stressful time for him and stress can do a number mentally.

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score 0 · Answer 4

Does he have family? I would call them and explain the situation. If you don't need to have contact with him, don't. Next time he calls tell him this will be the last time you tell him, you did what you had to. Your Mom is now in a nursing facility and you need to think about her needs. You no longer want him to call in reference to the business. If he can't do that, you will block him.

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score 0 · Answer 5

I agree with those that said to tell him what he wants to hear even if it isn't true. That is, if he's truly losing his memory. Trying to treat those who can't remember like those who can causes undue hardship on you and them.

As annoying as it is for you to answer the same questions over and over, if they are emotional like yours sounds, it results in that person just reliving the emotions over and over too.

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score 0 · Answer 6

Hadnuff, I am confused. When your dad died what happened to the business(s) and the partnership? What company was sued? Your dad's? Does your mom have any rights to the partnership as it exists today? What is your legal involvement in these businesses?

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score 4 · Answer 7

I think if there were a "10 Commandments" in regards to dealing with someone with dementia and/or memory loss related to age "Do not expect rational/reasonable thought or behavior" would for sure be one of the first listed.

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score 2 · Answer 8

You can't reason with him, so just tell him what he wants to hear. And if you need to do something, make sure he doesn't find out about it. Good luck.

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score 2 · Answer 9

Try contacting your county Adult Protective Services, and maybe they might be able to help

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score 5 · Answer 10

Just flat out tell him you are sorry he feels that way, but you did what you thought was best and you don't want to discuss it any more. When he brings it up again tell him again. if he calls and wants you to listen to his rants repeat and hang up, eventually he will get the message. He might think you are a jerk, but at least he will leave you alone.

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Any suggestions on dealing with a person losing their memory?

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