I have been dealing with this issue for a while. My mom, who we live together, is 70 and has early onset dementia. I have done some much for her. I have made her cigarettes, even though I don't smoke, but her doctors say that she needs to keep her brain moving and it has really stressed me out having to make her cigarettes when buying them isn't possible. Well I have recently showed her how to make them. SHE HATES IT! When I enter the room, she makes a huge deal about having to make them, but I feel, as does my sister, who does smoke, that's its good for her. I think she wants me to take over, but I won't. I have made them for her for almost a year, and I have decided that I am not going to do it. When she gets really frustrated, I show her again, but I don't do it. Am I wrong for making her do this? Am I being mean to her or doing something for her to keep her mind going? I don't feel guilty for doing it, because I don't smoke, but am I wrong?
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I can see, though, that for someone with dementia to have her cigarettes made for her for a year and then to be told she has to do it herself would be confusing and might feel mean or like a punishment. I'm not saying that you are wrong, but that I can understand why Mom might perceive this as wrong.
If she can do it, great -- keep encouraging her and praising her success. But also be aware that for a person with dementia being expected to do something they really can't is extremely frustrating and demoralizing. To complicate matters, what they can do successfully one day may not be what they can do the next day. Skills come and go and come back again.
And frankly, smoking is a filthy habit, if she isn't able to make as many as she needs it will force her to cut back, which is a good thing!