How can I get mom to wear hearing aid?

My mom doesn't wear hers for two reasons- 1. she is afraid she will lose them
2. the aids are tiny and with her arthritis she cant manipulate them very well to put in her ears. I suspect she doesn't have a lot of feeling in her fingertips.

I think when you cant hear people anymore (I dont mean people who always were deaf) its easier to dehumanize them or project things onto them. If she could have discussed the bed with the housekeeper aide instead of barking and correcting, it would have been a more effective exchange.

Its not just socializing. She cant communicate her needs and wants effectively because she has no idea what people are saying. For example, in AL someone asked what time she wanted housekeeping. I wasnt there. When she didnt respond in a definite way, staff said ring when you want us, Ok? Mom said, thats good. Shes good at pretending she heard so i believe the staff. Then she bitched and said they lie about service. Staff will learn she cant hear, but meanwhile, shes alienating them by saying they li e. She also sharply criticized the way one woman made the bed. I know...she does the same to me. "Pull it up to the top. Dont let the mattress show. Cant you see thats the wrong side of the sham? Dont toss the pillow. Place it" Would you want to do for her? To some she's sweet. To some contemptuous.

Rosyday, It's certainly worth trying new hearing aids for your mom, and better hearing would definitely improve her ability to socialize at the AL. However, I do want to point out that if she decides she doesn't want to wear them, she will undoubtedly win that battle. Some people just aren't comfortable with something in their ears. My dad hasn't worn his hearing aids in close to two years. Actually, I should say "hearing aid" because he lost one of them in our home while he was living with us. We searched high and low and never found it. He wore the remaining one for awhile but not very effectively. For example, he would put it in when he knew the battery was dead (rather than asking my husband to install a new battery). Now he doesn't wear it at all. Actually, he hears quite well without it, and so maybe that's one reason why he doesn't bother with it.

Thank you all for your answers. I guess it is possible but not likely. Her life(and mine) would be easier if she would wear hearing aids. Yes, the staff would put them on. Perhaps i should take her immediately to an audiologist instead of trying the old ones.

My mother was hard of hearing in one ear and got a hearing aid a few years before she passed. She was totally vain and never wore it because "it doesn't look nice".

When she was in the nursing home hearing aid people visited the place and gave her a hearing test. I subsequently discovered she'd ordered hearing aids to the tune of $4,000! She said she thought she'd just give them a try as they were free. I had POA and I knew she wouldn't wear them so I cancelled it.

She also called the bank and tried to order cheques (I attended to paying all bills) but they saw my POA on file and refused. By then her dementia was really bad and she was pretty much bed ridden. The office held $300 for her use and I made sure she had a lot of change for the vending machine. It was a never ending nightmare.

AmyGrace, my Mom was the same way, she didn't want to be around people she didn't know because of her lack of hearing. But she was determined that there was some magic hearing aid out there that would help her hear. So we went from one place to another to another to another.

Then Dad would see an advertisement in the newspaper for hearing aid that goes inside the ear and stays there for 3 months before needing to be replaced, and wanted us to take Mom there.... I told him the ear doctor told me those hearing aids are for people who are first losing their hearing. We went around and around on that, too. I refused to go shopping for those types of hearing aids.

Even when we found regular hearing aids that would work while in the audiologist office, it seemed the hearing aids wouldn't work the next day. Oh boy, here we go with user error. Mom was afraid to place the inside of the hearing aid too far into her ear. And, of course, Dad would be messing with the batteries, even using used batteries that still had a tiny amount of juice left in them :P

Rosy, I use to have to shout into Mom's good ear, and even then she would only catch 20% of what I said. I honestly think she would have done better having an old fashioned ear horn to use.

Been there, done that, unfortunately. It took years to get my mother to wear them, but she did eventually, so there is hope. If your mother's aids are 15 years old, she needs new ones and the new ones are so much better and more comfortable (expensive yes, but worth it). If you can get her to the audiologist who can fit her with good ones and then let her experience all the new sounds, she just might wear them. Maybe if you get them, then put them in for her and join her for dinner in AL, she will realize she can hear conversation and won't be so hesitant to eat with people. Being deaf was a good part of Mom's retreat from social life. She had hearing aids, but around 95, she got so got so deaf she couldn't hear, even with the aids, and she was totally lost socially. So hopefully you can get your mother to try again before its too late. Also, they do get deafer as they age and the aids have to be adjusted to accommodate.

The other side of my story - it took me 3 years to convince my hubby to get aids. I was so sick of repeating everything I said, hated to watch tv with him at the volume he needed. So he finally gets the aids, and most of the time - doesn't wear them - so I am still repeating myself all day long. It is so irritating when it is unnecessary. At least if we watch tv he wears them so I'm not blasted out of the room.
He claims he forgets them. If so, that is part of your mother's problem too. Putting them in every morning needs to become a habit. If she is in AL, they can help with that - they put Mom's new ones in every morning.
I've filed all this away in my brain so when I can't hear I won't be so stubborn!