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Katiec5 Asked April 2016

Suspicious of elder abuse out of state?

My brothers and I have always (8 years) been suspicious of my mothers living situation. We are long distance from
her in WA state. She has suffered from
Schizophrenia for many years and just recently we have been told she has had mini strokes, cannot walk and we cannot understand her on the phone at all. Her caregiver has always left us out of the loop and has failed to keep any decent communication with us. She seems to be in fear of us contacting APS as we have contacted the police in the past, whom
didnt help much at all. This caregiver was also put on probation for 3 years in Feb '15 for a patient repeatedly found in soiled diapers. She has lost her business as a caregiver I believe due to this incident. My mother was never a patient of hers and was brought to her several years ago by my uncle without our knowledge or consent, he has since passed. It has gotten to the point where I believe my mother may be in the process of dying, but her caretaker is not being honest with me and seems to be sugarcoating as she has implied to my brother this may be the end of my mothers road. She is very defensive and always on edge that we will call APS. Question is, since we are out of state from my mother, if APS found her situation to be unfit, would they displace her anywhere? I'm definitely not trying to make my mothers situation worse. My hands feel tied as I am in PA and her caretaker will not communicate to
Me the seriousness of my mothers health. I do not have extra funds for an elder care attorney nor funds for a nursing home but in the end I would like my mother to properly cared for and a priority.

GardenArtist Apr 2016
I'm wondering why it's been 8 years and nothing has been done other than what you state, which really isn't solving the problem.

lsmiami Apr 2016
Your brothers and you have always been suspicious....for 8 years!.....time for one of you to drop in, be ready to call APS and rake action.

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vegaslady Apr 2016
Either go in person or call APS in the county where she lives. Quit contemplating and take action.

staceyb Apr 2016
It sounds like it is time for you to high tail it up to Washington state, and see your Mother's situation for yourself. Is this so called caregiver being paid to care for your Mom? Have you ever met her? I wouldn't leave my own Mother in the care of someone who I do not trust, or that isn't communicating honestly with me. You say you want her cared for, so it may well take a visit to see her, so that you can put all of those measures in place. Are their other trusted family members who can do a welfare check on her? What are you waiting for? Regret and guilt are hard to live with. You need to do everything reasonably possible to see that she is being well cared for. Take personal action!

GardenArtist Apr 2016
Who is the caregiver? If she's not a family member, who hired her?

Windyridge Apr 2016
IN many areas APS is thread bare and practically non existent. I think you should alert them if you're concerned and see what happens but I can't imagine they would fund an all expense paid trip across the country. If they act at all,she would probably be placed into whatever facility local resources would allow.

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