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Thevisitor Asked April 2016

Can an administrator keep people from visiting friends?

administrator wants visitation M-F 9 to 4 and no talking to other visitors

vstefans Apr 2016
They should not be preventing visitors in general. Usually you walk in and ask at the desk - hey where is Mr. or Mrs. So-and-so and they will tell you the room, since you already know the person is there. They usually work by exception - let's say someone has asked for no visitors, they will flag that, or even give the person an alias or code word to keep unwanted visitors out.

Can you think of any special circumstances in this person's case? Do you get along with the person's family?

jeannegibbs Apr 2016
Thevisitor, are these general rules of the facility, or are they special rules for you? How do you know that you are not supposed to talk to other visitors? Is that on a list of rules somewhere or are you being singled out?

If these are general rules of the place and they are a hardship for you, discuss your special needs with the administrator, and if necessary, get the ombudsman involved. If you work and those restricted hours would mean you couldn't see your friend, you should be able to work out some off-hour times you can come. As general rules, they don't make any sense to me, but if that is what they are, try to negotiate around them.

If other people can visit in the evening and on weekends, why do you think you are being singled out? Do you think there is some basis of discrimination going on here? Are you a minority in that community?

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cwillie Apr 2016
Even a visitor who behaves can be a disruption if they are there too often or for too long, or if someone has a large family or circle of friends who visit often. Meals, baths, exercise etc is all scheduled, so too many visitors can interfere with that. And some residents share rooms and need their quiet time and privacy.

freqflyer Apr 2016
Thevisitor, it could be longer hours are offered to family, but for friends visiting the facility needs to limit the visitor hours.

Many hospitals do the same thing. Right now, because of the flu season, visitor hours are limited, no more than 2 visitors in a room, and no one under the age of 16 can go into a patient room.

Jinx4740 Apr 2016
The Visitor, We have seen and heard of SO MUCH bad behavior by professionals, patients, family and friends that we can get cynical.

If you are being appropriate, then I too would wonder what was going on. The nursing home I visited most often let visitors in all day and evening. Give us a little more information about the situation. Is this person being treated well as far as you can tell? Could it be that their family doesn't want you to be in contact?

If you are concerned that something hinky is going on, you could do a little research. Go to a nearby Senior Center and get an appointment with the social worker. He/she should be familiar with the reputation. You can also find out who the nursing home Ombudsman is, and chat with him/her.

Thevisitor Apr 2016
Pamstegma Not asking any questions or being nosy. so what would make you think that and say back off and behave?

jeannegibbs Apr 2016
You are visiting someone with dementia and nh administrator wants to restrict your visits? And wants you to not talk to the other visitors.

Hmmm ...

My mother's nursing home encourages visitors. I've talked to other visitors but mostly I talk to other residents (and my mom, of course). No one has ever suggested I shouldn't.

So I am with Pam in suspecting you are doing something that upsets people. Cut it out. Play nice.

The NH can set non-family visiting hours. They really can't tell you who to talk to or what to say ... free speech and all that, you know ... but they have a responsibility to provide a calm, caring environment for their residents. If you are only talking in a quiet respectful way that does not interfere with a visitor's visit with their loved one, I doubt you'd be in trouble.

So never mind what your rights are ... back off and behave!

pamstegma Apr 2016
They only do this when a visitor is asking too many questions and the residents complain about the nosy person. So back off and behave.

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